IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

THe amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries.

#amount #tea #coffee #four #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
What has been depicted in the bar chart is how much
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
 is imported from four developed countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the UK and the USA import more
tea
Use synonyms
 than
coffee
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the reverse is true for
Canada
Use synonyms
 and
Germany
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the United Kingdom was the biggest importer of
tea
Use synonyms
 among the four countries;
however
Linking Words
, the lowest importation of
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
 was dedicated to
Canada
Use synonyms
 and the UK, respectively.   The largest proportion of the imported
tea
Use synonyms
 was allocated to the UK,
according to
Linking Words
 160,000
tonnes
Use synonyms
, followed by the USA (just below 120,000
tonnes
Use synonyms
).
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
Canada
Use synonyms
 bought significantly smaller quantities of
tea
Use synonyms
, the former was four times less than the leading country in the chart, and the latter was 20,000
tonnes
Use synonyms
. 
Germany
Use synonyms
 and the United Kingdom were the largest and smallest importers of
coffee
Use synonyms
, respectively, with imports from the United Kingdom accounting for half of
Germany
Use synonyms
's imports (20,000).
Additionally
Linking Words
, the USA and
Canada
Use synonyms
 experienced the same exact number, which was 40000
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
While the essay effectively describes the data in the bar chart, there are a few grammatical errors and inconsistencies. For instance, 'reverse is true for Canada and Germany' could be better phrased as 'the opposite is true for Canada and Germany'. Maintaining grammatical consistency can improve clarity.
structure
Consider adding a brief conclusion where you summarize the main findings. This can improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
content
Providing additional comparisons or insights could strengthen the analysis. For example, including why these differences in imports might exist would add depth to your essay.
content
The essay gives a clear and accurate description of the bar chart, with specific data points cited for each country, which strengthens the task achievement.
structure
Logical structure is very good, as the essay moves smoothly from an overall summary to specific details about each country's imports.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: