IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that animals must be used for conducting laboratory tests, while other people think that animals are innocent creatures and we must not exploit them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #laboratory #tests #creatures
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People are calling into question using
animals
Use synonyms
 for conducting laboratory tests,
while
Linking Words
 some individuals believe that we must
use
Use synonyms
animals
Use synonyms
 for testing. Others assert that
animals
Use synonyms
 are innocent creatures and we must not exploit them. Both sides present rational justifications that will be explained. On the one hand, supporters of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
using
animals
Use synonyms
 for testing in laboratories believe that every product has to
test
Wrong verb form
be tested
show examples
 on
animals
Use synonyms
first,
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and after positive results,
humans
Use synonyms
 must
use
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
.
That is
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 to say, some
products
Use synonyms
 and
medicins
Correct your spelling
medicines
show examples
 have
consequenc
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
 on our body because of that we should
use
Use synonyms
animals
Use synonyms
 for testing first. A good illustration is that medicines and
vaccnates
Correct your spelling
vaccines
vaccinates
, like
flu
Add an article
the flu
show examples
vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
show examples
,
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 tested on
animals
Use synonyms
for finding
Change preposition
to find
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative or positive
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. It might have negative
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
, like
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
 their ability to move.
Furthermore
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,
costemic
Correct your spelling
cosmetic
cosmic
products
Use synonyms
, like lipsticks, in some factories,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
use
Use synonyms
animals
Use synonyms
 for testing their
products
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others put forward the idea that we must not
use
Use synonyms
animals
Use synonyms
 or any creatures for
Use synonyms
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
show examples
 goals. Simply
puts
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
, they have
Correct article usage
the rights
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to live like
humans
Use synonyms
. They do not have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to make a decision or
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 behaviour of
humans
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. They will suffer from
pains
Fix the agreement mistake
pain
show examples
 and any changes and it is
againist
Correct your spelling
against
 the animal's rights. A good example is that when laboratories, especially medicals, want to test their medicine on
animals
Use synonyms
, they have some effect on their brain and heart. It might change their blood pressure and will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
heart
attach
Correct your spelling
attack
show examples
, and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 end, until finding the correct formula,
animals
Use synonyms
 will
be died
Change to the active voice
die
have died
show examples
. By way of conclusion, considering the point discussed above, both sides of the argument present rational reasons. I am,
however
Linking Words
, of the opinion that
animals
Use synonyms
 have rights and we must not exploit them for our goals
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that they cannot preserve themselves and we should be kind
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
Submitted by tahani.nr on

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coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer structure, including distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. This will help in presenting your arguments in a more organized manner.
task achievement
Try to further develop each point with more detailed explanations or additional examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and readability. For example, some sentences are slightly awkward or contain small grammatical errors.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both viewpoints on using animals for laboratory tests, demonstrating a balanced understanding of the subject.
task achievement
Your personal opinion is clearly stated at the end of the essay, which is important to address the prompt effectively.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to provide relevant examples, such as mentioning flu vaccine testing and cosmetic products testing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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