Countries should produce enough food for their own population and import as little as possible. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Most countries send their products
such
as foods to another countries
, but some Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
argues
that the government should transfer Change the verb form
argue
it
as little as possible. Correct pronoun usage
them
Although
producing enough food
has own
advantages, Correct pronoun usage
its own
however
, in my opinion, I strongly disagree with this
statement because I suppose it helps the government, and I will examine and explain it.
First of all, some country
makes money from selling the
Correct article usage
apply
food
to another
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
country
and this
may leads
to Change the verb form
lead
Correct article usage
an improve
improve economics
. Replace the word
improved economy
For example
, Iran is one of the most powerful country
in having full of rice and Change to a plural noun
countries
saffaron
. It transfers to another Correct your spelling
saffron
country
and sell
it more expensive and it is one way of Change the verb form
sells
get
income. Change the verb form
getting
Thus
, if the government is able to produce more food
and transfer it to another country
, it will probably make
Verb problem
apply
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
form
that.
Correct your spelling
from
Secondly
, we can save our natural resource
for Fix the agreement mistake
resources
future
and reduce air pollution. Correct article usage
the future
For instance
, every watermeloon
needs 10L water to grow and produce Correct your spelling
watermelon
5Kg
Carbon Correct your spelling
5
Dioxid
, so Correct your spelling
dioxide
that
some Correct word choice
apply
country
like Dubai do not plant it and transfer Fix the agreement mistake
countries
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
country
because they encounter with lack of water and avoid to pollute
Change the verb form
polluting
air
. Add an article
the air
Therefore
, every country
must be conservation about every food
's equipment to avoid damage their
resources.
In conclusion, transferring foods Change preposition
to their
not
only Add a missing verb
is not
neccessarily
, Correct your spelling
necessarily
necessary
however
, it may cause Correct word choice
but
economical
benefits and maintain natural resources for Replace the word
economic
future
.Correct article usage
the future
Submitted by shahab.a on
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introduction
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay, which is very good. However, the explanation of your stance could be clearer. Try to explicitly state your thesis in a concise manner.
coherence
Your essay needs more logical connection between the ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and the subsequent sentences should logically flow from it.
support
Some examples and points are not fully developed. Ensure that each supporting idea is thoroughly explained and connected to your main argument.
language
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Some sentences contain grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofreading your work will help you catch these mistakes.
conclusion
Your conclusion is strong because it summarizes the main points effectively. However, make sure it reflects the overall argument you have made in your essay.
support
You provide examples to support your arguments, such as the example of Iran exporting rice and saffron. This strengthens your points.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively ties together the main points of your essay. Good job summarizing your key arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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