Many health problems in adults such as obesity and heart disease can be linked to poor health. Research shows that it is important to encourage healthyeat8ng patterns at an early age in order to avoid ill-health as an adult. What action can be taken to encourage children to eat more healthily.
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In contemporary society, numerous
health
conditions prevalent in adults, encompassing
obesity and heart disease, are traced back to suboptimal dietary patterns . Indeed, poor nutritional choices often adopted in childhood lay the groundwork for these Verb problem
including
health
challenges in adulthood.
According to
Brophy and colleagues, "an individual's dietary intake during childhood has both immediate and long-term effects on health
, as well as
continuous influence over growth and body composition" . Abundant scientific evidence contends that enshrining healthy eating behaviours during infancy is crucial in circumventing future health
ailments in adulthood. Thus
, focusing on childhood presents a significant opportunity to intervene and build solid foundations that uphold long-term health
.
Making nutritional information accessible within the school curriculum is one such
intervention. By incorporating lessons about the importance of balanced
diet and the harms of Correct article usage
a balanced
excessive
processed food, we can equip youngsters with knowledge crucial Change the word
excessively
in
making informed dietary choices . Policymakers should proactively collaborate with education departments to embed nutritional education in the national curriculum.
Change preposition
to
Moreover
, schools should play a proactive role in offering balanced meals. Research demonstrates that students who participate in healthier school meal programs have better nutritional profiles, lower risks of overweight
, and are more likely to consume fruits, vegetables, and dairy products . Add a missing verb
being overweight
Therefore
, governments must hold accountable educational institutions for their students’ diets by setting and monitoring adherence to strict nutritional standards for school meals.
Overall
, promoting healthy eating habits in children
is paramount for preventing health
problems in adulthood. By educating children
about nutrition, making healthy food options more accessible and appealing, and involving children
in the process of choosing and preparing meals, we can support them develop a life-long commitment to good nutrition and overall
well-being. By taking action to encourage children
to eat more healthily, we are able to assist them lead healthier, happier lives.Submitted by Shaxnoza on
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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully supported with relevant and specific examples. While some references to research and the role of schools were included, providing more concrete data or case studies could bolster your arguments.
task achievement
Review your choice of words and strive for more variety in sentence structure to maintain reader interest. The essay does well in presenting clear and comprehensive ideas, but varying sentence length and types could enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Slightly refine the logical flow by ensuring every paragraph logically follows the previous one. For instance, ensuring the paragraph on school meals logically continues the discussion on nutritional education could improve transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Try to use signposting words and phrases to make the connections between points even clearer. Although the essay is already well-structured, the use of additional linking phrases could enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction that sets the stage for the discussion and a strong conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of the topic.
task achievement
Ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively, contributing to a robust discussion of the need to promote healthy eating habits in children to prevent future health problems.
task achievement
The use of academic references, such as Brophy and colleagues, adds credibility and depth to the arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.