In some coutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them
Nowadays in many countries around the globe
people
are affected by gaining more weight due to
bad happens of eating as well as
having issues with health
fitness that is
declining.
In my opinion, the main cause for such
a problem is that people
no longer coke food
at home, instead
they pay for it from the restaurant or even they go out to eat and enjoy their time, while
this
should not affect or cause health
issue, but restaurant used to add an ingredient that gives a good flavor
but it Change the spelling
flavour
also
causes this
issue as an example, not using good quality oil food
and more salty food
.
Secondly
and also
a main reason that has a huge impact on our health
, is the style of our life, people
now use cars and other transportation instead
of walking as our ancestors did all their day, so we like not doing lots of activity and become lazier and love to just relax and eat and watch TV or using iPhone to enjoy the social media.
So to solve and increase health
strength our government should play a main role and do a list of steps, such
as doing lots of advertisements about the importance of doing exercise and building public sports centers
as some Change the spelling
centres
people
can't afford to pay for it each month. also
, the health
organization should provide training on what is a good food
to eat and what is to eat less or even abundant.
This
lifestyle people
now live has some downsides as a decline in the health
of the body and more people
have issues with weight, we discussed how to solve such
issues and what steps can take in order to solve this
issue we facing these days.Submitted by suliman.kariri on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a general response to the task. To improve your score, ensure that each main idea is developed with specific, relevant examples and supporting details. This will make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Carefully proofread your work for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Doing so will improve clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant details. Your current organization has some points that are not clearly connected.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using appropriate linking words and phrases. This will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt by identifying the causes of increasing weight and decreasing fitness levels, and discussing some potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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