You live with a roommate at university but you have trouble studying because of a problem related to your roommate. Write a letter to an administrator at your university and include: •Who you are •The problem •What you suggest they do
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to complain about a serious issue relating to my flatmate, Amy, and ask for an alternative accommodation.
My name is Bella Liu. I am studying the Master of Finance project at ABC School of Business and sharing flat #10-1 with Amy at the Rice residence.
Unfortunately, I realized that Amy’s behaviour has caused a huge issue for me recently. First of all, she always invites a huge number of friends to our apartment to have a party on weekends, dancing, singing and playing loud music, which distracts me from my studies. In addition
, she comes back to our apartment around 2am sometimes and then
takes a shower or cooks food to eat, so I cannot sleep in peace and have trouble sleeping at night. I find this
unsettling and disturbing.
I take my studies so seriously. I hope I can leave my university with a qualification which enable me to find a decent and well-paid job. However
, if my flatmate is always causing noise and disturbing my normal life, my goals cannot be achieved. I am applying to move to a quieter room.
I am so sorry for contacting you about this
delicate matter and sincerely hope you will be able to help. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Bella LiuSubmitted by strawberry.guan on
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coherence cohesion
While the letter is well-organized, consider adding a brief overview of the roommate issues in the opening paragraph for more clarity.
task achievement
The tone is generally polite and suitable, but you might want to soften the complaint a bit more by adding expressions of understanding towards your roommate's behavior.
task achievement
Your letter presents a clear and complete response to the given task.
task achievement
The use of polite language and a formal tone is very appropriate for this context.
coherence cohesion
Your letter maintains a logical flow and the paragraphs are well-organized, each focusing on a single idea.
task achievement
You provided a detailed account of the problems you’re facing, making it easy to understand the situation.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are very well-executed, adding to the formality and respectfulness of the letter.