IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

THese days many people have their own computeres and telephones, so it is quite easyfo them to work at home. DOes working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages

#people #computeres #telephones #easyfo #work #home
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Nowadays usually people have their own computers and mobile phones. Technology coming up
fastly
Rephrase
fast
show examples
 and now not expensive. I think the two ways have different situations Especially, If you don't have a computer the company
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 you
for
Correct pronoun usage
one for
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
. Nowadays not a big deal.
Nevertheless
, if you
work
 at
home
this
 is good for
time
 management.
In contrast
Add a comma
,
show examples
you lose more
time
 on the way to
work
. By the way, I prefer to
work
 at
home
. Because
home
 is since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 ı don't see any workers
also
 my manager. I prepare my lunch at
home
. I think that the clean food. Another thing is you can
work
 everywhere. Just you need the internet. In summer
time
 I worked from our summer house. I
work
 and rest for three months.
In contrast
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, you
work
office
 that's
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 social area but too much noise and crowd. I do not prefer that. Sometimes they want to be social.
This
 is necessary for humanism. The
office
 vibe is good for mental health. And some meetings
Add a missing verb
are successfully
show examples
successfully
Change the word
successful
show examples
 because face-to-face communication is better than online. I'm living in Istanbul and Istanbul very crowded city. And if your
home
-to-workwork destination is not close you have to spend more
time
 on transportation. it's exhausting and when you come
home
 you are very tired
To sum up
, I prefer to
work
 remotely.
However
,
office
 life is not bad. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 3 days
work
 remotely and 2 days working at the
office
.
This
 situation is better for
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
work
. Less energy for the company because they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
work
 in the
office
3
Change preposition
for 3
show examples
days.
Submitted by oguzozgurugur on

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your stance or objective of the essay, and succinctly introduces the main points you will discuss.
conclusion
Develop a clear and concise conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and provides a strong closing statement.
paragraph structure
Enhance your paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions smoothly to the next.
support main points
Support your points with more specific and relevant examples. This will help to illustrate your ideas clearly.
language
Pay attention to your use of vocabulary and grammar to avoid minor errors and improve clarity.
support
The essay demonstrates the use of some relevant examples to support the discussion.
task response
The writer addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home and working from the office.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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