Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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In recent times, some

people

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contend that taking alternative

medicines

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and treatments could have a positive influence on various aspects,

while

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others believe that it could lead to adverse detrimental repercussions. In

this

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essay, I will address two diametrically opposed views and reason out the conclusion. There are several advantages that are worth considering.

To begin

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with, trying alternative

medicines

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and treatments is an easier and more affordable way than visiting their doctors in person. In America, It is tough to make an appointment and see a doctor.

Thus

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, it makes

patients

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prefer to apply herbal

medicines

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or acupuncture

instead

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. On top of that, they can reap those treatments

with

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show examples

relatively reasonable

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

In addition

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this

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people

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can control how to treat their problems. Based on their symptoms, they can not only try alternative

medicines

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on one day but

also

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have acupuncture on the other day. In spite of the merits described above,

however

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, it could cause negative impacts. First of all, there is a possibility that

patients

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have wrong knowledge about their health conditions. In the long run, it will affect

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apply

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their health. From my experience, there was a patient when I was working at a dialysis

center

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centre

show examples

People

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who do not have good kidneys should not eat a lot of fruits as it can exacerbate

kidney's

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kidney

show examples

health. But

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this

Change the determiner

this patient

these patients

show examples

patients

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did not know that, so he took a myriad of fruits as he heard somewhere that having fruits would be helpful.

This

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caused the patient to accelerate to take dialysis treatment.

As well as

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this

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, once

patients

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visit the clinic, the doctor diagnoses their condition on specific ample

evident

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evidence

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(e.g. blood test or x-ray), which prevents

people

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from taking

wrong

Correct article usage

the wrong

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medications or information. In conclusion, it can be observed that there are two different viewpoints, which are both, to a certain degree, convincing.

Although

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it can offer merits, it seems to me that its risks far outweigh

potential

Correct pronoun usage

its potential

show examples

benefits.

Therefore

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, I consider it as a negative development.

Submitted by mirea0124 on Tue May 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents clear arguments for both sides of the issue and concludes with a clear opinion. However, work on your transition between paragraphs to improve the logical flow. For example, the transition between advantages and disadvantages can be smoother.

task achievement

Strengthen your supporting examples. While you provided an example about a patient at a dialysis center, more specific, detailed examples can provide stronger evidence for your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and both adequately frame the discussion and your opinion.

task achievement

You addressed both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view before reaching your conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

331 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

What to do next:

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

Some people think the government should provide free housing, while others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people believe that reducing speed limits is the best option for road safety improvement .do you think there are other measures that could be put in place? what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Most of the people send text messages rather than calling. Explain the reasons for it. Do you think sending text message is an advantage or disadvantage?