More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone?
Nowadays, a significant increase in migrants to cities with
a
hope of better Correct article usage
the
settlement
is a big concern for societies around the world. The shortage of well-paid jobs in rural communities compels workers to immigrate to megacities with the purpose of better earnings for living. Unfortunately, job
vacancies offered by manufacturing and service businesses
require proficiency qualifications from applicants and the cost of living in general extremely high compared with their low incomes. I believe that two of the major causes for difficulty in city settlement
are job
opportunities and extremely
high cost of real estate. Correct article usage
the extremely
However
, central governments have also
developed a number of long-term effective solutions to save the situation.
Many jobs in downtown require a wide range of skills and the job
vacancies for which applicants apply also
require experience. In addition
, urbanites often take precedence over suburbanites thanks to their permanent resident addresses. Businesses
often take the strength and sustainability of human resources into consideration when they publicly advertise for job
vacancies therefore
they do not give a preference to commuters. For instance
, A couple of years ago, after graduating from National Economics University and Hanoi University for Foreign Language Studies, I applied for a job
at the Luxembourg Agency for Cooperation and Development funded by the Luxemburg Government. I believe that I will be qualified for the job
offer since did a great job
answering every single question in English during the interview and completed the perfect paper test. Sadly, I was informed not to be accepted due to
the requirements for a Permanent Residency Address in Hanoi. Recently, the Vietnamese central government has made an amendment to the Residence Law – Removal of Permanent Residency Address Act that comes into effect from 1st January 2023 which will create more chances and more equality in job
opportunities among job
seekers. This
disadvantage is one of two causes leading to difficulty in settlement
in cities.
Like other residents, suburbanites also
expect to afford accommodation near their workplaces to minimize the daily travelling time but the housing price is extremely high. Most real-estate companies only prefer to invest their money in building residential zones with luxury houses under the high demand of the employees at the high-income threshold as they always consider opportunity cost to bring maximum profit to their businesses
. Being fully aware of the imbalance in housing provision in megacities, central governments have introduced a wide range of sustainable livelihood approaches. One of those is to subsidize real-estate businesses
to build low-cost social housing which enables the group of workers having low income to afford. This
solution not only helps build more social homes but also
demonstrates their commitment to manufacturing businesses
in terms of workforce provision.
In conclusion, settlement
in a big city is never easy for anyone from rural areas. I am strongly convinced that job
opportunities and housing prices are two elements that emigrants must be highly perceptive to meet the requirements of businesses
and market prices. Also
, governments’ intervention in issuing different policies and supplying social housing are integral factors in ensuring equality of opportunity in all areas.Submitted by aesacademyforenglishstudy on
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task achievement
You've done a good job explaining the difficulties of city life and how the government can address these issues. However, ensure to elaborate more on how exactly these solutions will benefit the society long-term, giving more depth to your main points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally coherent, careful attention to sentence structure and flow can improve coherence further. Try to maintain a smoother transition between paragraphs.
task achievement
Excellent use of relevant and specific examples, such as your personal experience with job applications and the Vietnamese Residence Law amendment.
coherence cohesion
Strong and logical structure throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-framed, effectively presenting and summarizing the key points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?