IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Topic. In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages ?

#topic #cities #planners #shops #schools #offices #homes #areas #policy
Nowadays, urban planning with zoning regulations separating commercial, residential and industrial areas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a common practice in
cities
 around the world.
While
this
 policy is designed to bring structure and efficiency to urban spaces, it is advantages and disadvantages are worth considering. On the one hand, the most visible benefit of zoning is the effective
using
Replace the word
use
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 of land.
Combination
Replace the word
Combining
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 similar activities together,
cities
 able to optimise infrastructure and transport systems.
For example
, locating schools near residential areas
are reduced
Wrong verb form
reduces
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 travel time to work and
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
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 community integration. At the same time,
concentration
Add an article
the concentration
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 of commercial activities in specific zones
are increased
Wrong verb form
increases
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 economic vitality and facilitates business collaboration.
In addition
, zoning can increase environmental stability. By
avoid
Change the verb form
avoiding
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 the entry of industrial facilities into residential districts planners are reducing pollution risks and
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
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residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
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 well-being. What is more, keeping green areas in
neighbornhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 zones
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 and
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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 the quality of life of residents.
On the other hand
, zoning policies are disadvantages. Lack of access to quality amenities and services can perpetuate social economic gaps, as low-income communities may not have enough money in order to satisfy
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 needs.
Moreover
, dense buildings prevent people from having privacy, but many developers do not take
this
 factor into attention.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
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,
this
Change the determiner
these
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 drawbacks have advantages of zoning often outweigh the disadvantages.
For instance
, the compact city model in European
cities
 promotes walkability and reduces carbon emissions. In conclusion,
while
 zoning policies have both pros and cons, their
overall
 impact depends on adaptation to local conditions.
As final
Rephrase
Finally
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, even with smart planning and flexibility
cities
 can maximise the benefits of
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
show examples
 the suburbs and create inclusive and liveable urban environments.
Submitted by vladislavikonnikov112 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is structured well overall, consider refining the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure each idea transitions smoothly to the next to make the argument more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are consistently supported with relevant, specific examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more comprehensive.
task achievement
Some sentences are unclear or contain small grammatical errors. Review your work to eliminate mistakes such as 'are a reduced' instead of 'reduce,' and 'can increase environmental stability' instead of 'can promote environmental stability.'
task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are fully developed. This will help provide a more complete response to the task and make your ideas clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear framing of your argument.
task response
You have made a good attempt at discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of zoning policies, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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