The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. good quality of life. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

It has become an emergent problem that the global
population
is increasing at an accelerating speed, whose primary cause is the lack of workers. I partially agree that
this
is the most serious issue that humans have faced, for its growing negative effect on the environment regardless of the fact that the
population
rises only
in particular
areas. On the one hand, the rapid increase in the
population
poses a
number
of threats from an environmental perspective.
In other words
, there is severe damage to
nature
as the
number
of
people
rises.
For instance
, clearing more land for the construction of accommodations and roads leads to the destruction of more trees.
This
can cause more loss of natural resources, which
also
makes the environment a more hostile place for wild animals to settle.
Furthermore
, the rising
number
of wild creatures which are unable to adapt to
such
sudden changes brought about by humans are forced to be dead.
Therefore
, the expansion of the
population
of humans is an immediate issue to be resolved as it collapses the ecosystems and biodiversities.
On the other hand
, the increase of
population
is not as a threatening problem as it seems because it only occurs in limited places on Earth. Indeed, some developing countries in Africa and Asia have a boosting
number
of
people
, which is often caused by the increasing demand for labour. Since more young workforce are required to support their physical work in the agricultural and infrastructural fields, their birthrates are strikingly higher than those in developed nations.
Nevertheless
, it has remained a minor problem with the increasing awareness of
nature
among
people
in modern society.
For example
, there are several movements to protect natural resources
such
as the Green Act, which is conducted by the local authorities to place harsher restrictions on human activities in
nature
.
Consequently
, the damage remains minimal and
people
are still able to preserve its beauty and prosperity. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that the rapid increase in human populations has a detrimental impact on
nature
as more trees are eradicated for more houses and roads.
However
, it only happens in developing countries where the shortage of labour is severe, which makes it less serious , especially with the rising awareness of the importance of protecting
nature
today.
Submitted by mizuho on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a fairly balanced discussion on the topic, but there are areas to improve in order to reach a higher score. For instance, ensuring that every paragraph consistently ties back to the main argument will strengthen coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer, more explicit thesis statement in the introduction. This would help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs that each focus on a specific point. This helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
The essay does well in recognizing both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an ability to think critically about the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mortality rates
  • agricultural technology
  • contraception
  • family planning
  • cultural factors
  • economic incentives
  • resource strain
  • environmental degradation
  • climate change
  • habitat destruction
  • biodiversity loss
  • urban overcrowding
  • pollution
  • infrastructure challenges
  • social issues
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • healthcare
  • education services
  • international conflicts
  • economic inequality
  • political instability
  • sustainable development
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