IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #species #animals #risk
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Nowadays, the problem of endangered
animals
 is getting serious. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss the major reasons for
this
 and what can be done to alleviate
this
 problem. Human activities are the major cause of animal extinction. In order to construct facilities, like residential buildings, roads, and transportation systems, to improve people's living standards,
governments
 are cutting down trees and demolishing the mountains which causes hundreds of thousands of
animals
 to lose their habitat.
As a result
, they may migrate to a nearby human city where they may be killed by car accidents.
In addition
, some wildlife can only survive in specific weather and temperatures.
However
, climate change and global warming, which are caused by the pollution caused by human activities, have made the environment unsuitable for their living.
As a result
, we are the only solution to change
this
 situation. In order to tackle
this
 problem, there are several approaches
governments
 and individuals can take. First of all,
governments
 should set up conservation areas around the environment where endangered species live.
Therefore
, the natural habitat and the species there can be protected and reproduced without any distraction from human interruption.
On the other hand
, individuals should increase their environmental awareness. As an Earth citizen, we can save wild
animals
 with small changes, starting from using more public transportation than driving and doing more recycling. If everyone takes part in lessening the pollution, we can slow down, or even stop, the climate change. City development and human activities are the main killers of extinct
animals
. In order to save them,
governments
 and individuals can work together to fight against pollution and provide a safe home for
animals
.
Submitted by puimei822 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen the arguments, such as mentioning specific animal species or real-life case studies.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas introduced in the body paragraphs are fully developed and elaborated upon.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent use of conjunctions and transitional phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized, with human activities and climate change identified as primary reasons for animal endangerment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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