IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in Scotland for twenty years ago and last year.

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in Scotland for twenty years ago and last year.
#show #amount #electricity #energy #source #scotland #twenty #years #year
The two pie charts illustrate the composition of
energy
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 for
electricity
 in Scotland between twenty
years
 ago and
last
year
. Units are measured in percentage (%).
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the majority of the
source
 was Coal.
Otherwise
, the smallest number
at the end
 of the period was
hydro pumped
Add a hyphen
hydro-pumped
show examples
 storage.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
years
 ago, Coal was the highest composition for
source
 of
electricity
 which accounted
41.4
Change preposition
for 41.4
show examples
%.
However
, there was
dramatically decreased
Replace the word
a dramatic decrease
show examples
 in the
last
year
, only about 32.7%. Following that, the second highest
energy
source
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
years
 ago that contributed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
electricity
 was Gas, which only slightly
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from twenty
years
 ago
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 0.6%.
In addition
, Hydro natural flow and Hydro pumped storage were only 8.7% and 3.1%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period, respectively. There were
also
 decreased insignificant during the given periods. Looking at the figures, a few
energy
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
show examples
 were increased
such
 as Oil, Nuclear, and other
renewables
Fix the agreement mistake
renewable sources
show examples
source
.
Last
year
, the percentage of
Oil was
Verb problem
oil
show examples
 almost doubled from the first given periods.
Moreover
, Nuclear became the second highest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
energy
source
 for
electricity
 and definitely below
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Coal.
Furthermore
, other
renewables
Change the noun form
renewable
show examples
energy
 accounted for 5.1% in the
last
year
 which increased from the twenty
years
 ago.
Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, source, electricity, years, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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