IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in Scotland for twenty years ago and last year.

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in Scotland for twenty years ago and last year.
#show #amount #electricity #energy #source #scotland #twenty #years #year
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The two pie charts illustrate the composition of
energy
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 for
electricity
Use synonyms
 in Scotland between twenty
years
Use synonyms
 ago and
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. Units are measured in percentage (%).
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of the
source
Use synonyms
 was Coal.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the smallest number
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period was
hydro pumped
Add a hyphen
hydro-pumped
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 storage.
In
Change preposition
apply
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20
years
Use synonyms
 ago, Coal was the highest composition for
source
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 which accounted
41.4
Change preposition
for 41.4
show examples
%.
However
Linking Words
, there was
dramatically decreased
Replace the word
a dramatic decrease
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 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
, only about 32.7%. Following that, the second highest
energy
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source
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
years
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 ago that contributed
for
Change preposition
to
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electricity
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 was Gas, which only slightly
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 from twenty
years
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 ago
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 0.6%.
In addition
Linking Words
, Hydro natural flow and Hydro pumped storage were only 8.7% and 3.1%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period, respectively. There were
also
Linking Words
 decreased insignificant during the given periods. Looking at the figures, a few
energy
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Use synonyms
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
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 were increased
such
Linking Words
 as Oil, Nuclear, and other
renewables
Fix the agreement mistake
renewable sources
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source
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
year
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, the percentage of
Oil was
Verb problem
oil
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 almost doubled from the first given periods.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Nuclear became the second highest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
 for
electricity
Use synonyms
 and definitely below
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Coal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, other
renewables
Change the noun form
renewable
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 accounted for 5.1% in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 which increased from the twenty
years
Use synonyms
 ago.
Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, source, electricity, years, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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