IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

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In recent years, the number of
people
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 living in a big city is constantly increasing. Some individuals argue that living in
cities
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 is hard,
while
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 others think that it is more easy and suitable. I believe there are far more advantages of living in
cities
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 than disadvantages, which will be analyzed in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, it is true that living in
cities
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 can be considered drawbacks in some aspects. The most remarkable is that
people
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 who live in big
cities
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 frequently face a wide range of issues,
such
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 as pollution, noise, traffic jams
as well as
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 extra population . To be more specific, the majority of
people
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 flow from the countryside to
cities
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,
this
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 leads to overpopulation.
For example
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, job opportunities are less in urban settlements than in
cities
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, in order for to
people
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 move to
cities
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 for work.
Hence
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,
although
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 living in a big city has many variety of opportunities, it is difficult.
On the other hand
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, living in
cities
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 is considered far more merits as it undoubtedly provides a wide range of benefits to countless
people
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. Needless to say
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,
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job opportunities are wide in those areas.
In other words
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, as developed places have big companies established, they need labour and
this
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 gives a chance for the crowd to apply for the most suitable position. Another factor is that there are many schools and varied stores without
people
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 having travel distance.
For instance
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, one story and school may be in the village and
people
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 explore to travel long distances. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that living in
cities
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 has brought far more advantages rather than disadvantages, and it seems that living in a big city is convenient and suitable for the population.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion. However, try to avoid phrases like 'which will be analyzed in this essay' as they are redundant.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your body paragraphs have clear, distinct points. The flow of ideas can be improved by dedicating one paragraph to advantages and another to disadvantages without mixing them.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are well-developed and supported with more specific examples, stats, or facts to increase credibility and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Try using more sophisticated transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which adds to the overall clarity.
task achievement
You have managed to address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates balanced thinking.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your opinion, which helps in rounding off the essay well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Infrastructure
  • Quality of life
  • Metropolitan
  • Commuting
  • Cost of living
  • Healthcare facilities
  • Educational institutions
  • Cultural activities
  • Overcrowding
  • Pollution
  • Stress levels
  • Employment opportunities
  • Recreational
  • Sense of community
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