Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals advocate making scientific, business, and educational
information
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widely available,
while
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others maintain that
this
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information
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should remain secret because of its value or importance. Both schools have merits, but I believe sharing data freely will encourage a more synchronized world. On the one hand, publishing research in these scientific fields could have a lot of benefits. Researchers in the academic and scientific fields have traditionally struggled to communicate with citizens
due to
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a lack of transportation and restrictions imposed by governments and religious organizations. Today, with the aid of social media, people are more aware of the state of the world.
Therefore
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, it contributes to technological advancements and synchronizes educational
information
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worldwide. As for business, it requires years of experience in order to succeed in
this
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field.
As a result
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, entrepreneurs rely heavily on the written work of previous successful businessmen in order to gain economic insight.
In contrast
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, in the modern welfare system, maintaining an individual copyright plays a crucial role in maintaining a competitive environment. By being exposed to
this
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environment, one will be able to enhance their creativity and stimulate their desire to surpass others.
For example
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, restaurants that follow traditional recipes or scientists with innovative technologies will force other brands to create formulas of their own, resulting in the ultimate benefit to the consumer. As well, history and political national academic journals possess original characteristics that contribute to the development of a diverse society. In conclusion,
although
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there are varying opinions on whether the public should have access to
information
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or whether it should be obligated to do so, I believe that
information
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concerning science, business, and education should be made available to the public on a global.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting both views and giving your own opinion effectively. However, providing more relevant and specific examples would strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly by using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your arguments with more detailed examples and ensure that each example directly supports the main point of the paragraph. This will help make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow. The introduction and conclusion are strong, providing a solid framework for your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed all parts of the task effectively, offering a balanced discussion of both views and providing your own opinion.
task achievement
The main points of your essay are well-supported and relevant to the topic, showing a good understanding of the subject matter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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