Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for individuals and the family than eating out in restaurants or canteens. Do you agree or disagree?
Many
people
feel that homemade foods
are far more
better than, outdoor meals, Change the word
apply
to
Change preposition
for
the
family members and alone Correct article usage
apply
people
. I agree with the statement, in this
essay will be discussed in more detail.
In the past, people
had enough time to do their own things, in
nowadays they haven’t extra time to do things. Change preposition
apply
Such
as cooking, and cleaning their home like that. As a result
, many people
are tempted, to their daily consumption
from restaurants and the canteen. Replace the word
consume
However
, homemade foods
can provide more benefits to the
Correct article usage
apply
people
. Firstly
, It may reduce health hazards, such
as obesity, cardiovascular diseases, and diabetes. Secondly
, that
Correct word choice
apply
foods
are more expensive because people
can purchase from the market, such
as vegetables, fish, and other ingredients, that help reduce their cost of living. Thirdly
, meal consumption at home it
would help to develop the family bond, Correct pronoun usage
apply
thus
cooking food at home it
may provide more benefits to the family and alone Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
.
On the other hand
, resturent
food has led to many detrimental effects to the family and individuals. Correct your spelling
restaurant
firstly
nowadays many people
are getting to
health problems, Change preposition
apply
such
as cancer and childhood obesity, therefore
it affects to
the healthcare system and society. Change preposition
apply
secondly
, economic problems that meals are expensive more than homemade foods
. it is a waste of money. Thirdly
, it has led to a disconnect between family relationships.
In conclusion, homemade foods
could provide more benefits to the family and individuals. Reduce health problems, save money, and increase the family relationship.Submitted by dhanushkalakmal19 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and provide supporting details
task achievement
Elaborate on your points with more relevant and specific examples to better support your arguments
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical errors and pay attention to the use of transitions for smoother flow of ideas
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and provided reasons to support your opinion.