Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the general public. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

#government #money #development #sport #art #school #students #sports #performances

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So many countries' governments support the

sports

Use synonyms

and

art

Use synonyms

sections by making people aware of the

sports

Use synonyms

and

art

Use synonyms

benefits. Some of them prefer to encourage

this

Linking Words

talent from schools.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some prefer to support professionals in the mentioned field.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss these two points of view. On the one hand, encouraging school students in

art

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

is the milestone of finding the student's talents. So, many schools do not have enough budget to help them to improve it

while

Linking Words

the

government

Use synonyms

can help. As an example, when the teachers find a student who is talented and inspired by an

art

Use synonyms

or sport they will give him a chance to participate in the competition that the

government

Use synonyms

sponsors. From my experience, I participated in a mathematics competition in my high school, it was an unforgettable memory and achievement

Change the capitalization

show examples

had .

On the other hand

Linking Words

, professional

sports

Use synonyms

and

art

Use synonyms

performances are the ones who already perform their country's effort. Since the

government

Use synonyms

supports them and ignores new talent they will not be able to discover their potential.

In addition

Linking Words

, An example of

that is

Linking Words

when a professional or

art

Use synonyms

performances

Replace the word

performer

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

an accident and they can not do work they give the new discovery to shine up. In my opinion, the

government

Use synonyms

must give the same opportunity to both and support them.

this

Linking Words

essay discussed both two points of view with examples.

Hence

Linking Words

, the student in school must be focused on rather than performance and professionalism, and that was my opinion

abot

Correct your spelling

about

those arguments.

Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on Mon May 20 2024

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task achievement

The essay could benefit from more clarity in presenting ideas. Ensure that each point is clearly related to the main argument.

task achievement

More relevant and specific examples should be provided to support the arguments. This will strengthen your position and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of ideas can be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that ideas within paragraphs are logically connected.

coherence cohesion

The introduction should be more engaging and clearly state your position on the issue. The conclusion should summarize the key points discussed in the essay and restate your opinion clearly.

task achievement

You've addressed both sides of the argument, which is good. This shows a balanced perspective.

task achievement

Personal examples can make your argument more relatable and authentic.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for different points of view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the general public. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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The best way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?