Some say thatr advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
have different views about the effectiveness of
advertisements
for the public. Some would argue that
commercials
can perfectly appeal to
people
to purchase products,
while
others suggest that advertising cannot be focused on anymore.
This
essay will discuss
this
issue from both perspectives and suggest my own
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
. On the one hand, there are
also
compelling ideas of the opposite viewpoints.
To begin
with,
advertisements
are
spreadeverywhere
Correct your spelling
spread everywhere
in our life.
In other words
people
can feel tedium or
bordness
Correct your spelling
boredom
easily.
This
is because we are exposed to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
thousands of
commercials
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days.
According to
recent research, the recklessness of
advertisements
can bring adverse effects to customers, and its influences will reduce significantly. In short, companies should consider
for
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apply
show examples
their influences
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
advertising,  and it will be better to change the way to attract
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there are several grounds to support
this
view that advertising still has a huge effect 
to attract
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on attracting
show examples
people
to buy it. First of all,
advertisements
have been the dominating advertising measure in the markets for a long period. In fact, many corporations are still pursuing
visually
Change the word
visual
show examples
commercials
through diverse media
such
as the 
internets
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internet
show examples
,
TV
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and TV
show examples
, and even to show popular models like sports stars, influencers, or actors.
For instance
, many customers choose the commodities depending on
its
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their
show examples
models because they provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trustworthiness. In general, these ways make the efforts to promote their products.
Therefore
,
commercials
can provide
the
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apply
show examples
useful details and reliable introductions of commodities to potential customers.
Submitted by kimjy3329 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your points. Providing more detailed examples will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you maintain a consistent structure. Starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each view, and ending with a clear conclusion will help you improve in this area.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and help your reader understand the connections between your points.
coherence cohesion
Eliminate minor grammatical errors such as ‘bordness’ should be ‘boredom’, and ‘the internets’ should be ‘the internet’. These small mistakes can detract from the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
You effectively discussed both views of the topic and provided a clear perspective, which is important for a balanced essay.
task achievement
Using research to support your points adds credibility to your arguments. This is a good practice to continue.
task achievement
Your essay exhibits a good vocabulary range and attempts to use complex sentence structures, which can contribute positively to your score.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • capture attention
  • emotional engagement
  • targeting techniques
  • tailor ads
  • preferences
  • celebrity endorsements
  • influencer marketing
  • psychological tactics
  • scarcity
  • urgency
  • ad fatigue
  • effectiveness
  • coping mechanisms
  • ad blockers
  • saturated markets
  • innovative strategies
  • traditional methods
  • digital media
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