In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words

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The importance of junk
food
advertising has now become more controversial with many
people
claiming that it is harmful
while
others reject
this
notion. In my opinion, the latter proposition appears to be more rational.
This
essay will
further
elaborate my views for favouring the negative impact of
this
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
and
thus
will lead to a
logically
Change the adverb
logical
show examples
conclusion. Some
people
believe that junk
food
ads should be banned because they contribute to
obesity
because viewers are easily drawn to them. It is stated that
profit seeking
Add a hyphen
profit-seeking
show examples
companies use different strategies to market their junk foods, if they broadcast their products through various channels like TV, radio and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, they gain wide attention from customers. Even though
people
know the harmful effects of eating fast
food
, they eat it every day and
thus
gain weight.
Hence
, it is considered forbidden by several masses.
However
, fast
food
advertising does not help
this
problem.  Not all the blame can be placed on the advertising of the companies, as there is another factor that plays a more important role in
obesity
For example
, the most common cause of
obesity
was a lack of daily exercise, as identified by a health professional interviewed
last
year at the California Institute of Public Health. 
This
confirms that
this
type of advertising should not be banned, as it is not the main cause of overweight. In conclusion, to the above statement, neither its pros nor cons can be neglected.
While
some
people
think that fast
food
ads should be banned because they promote fast
food
and lead to
obesity
, I am against
this
idea because regular physical inactivity is the cause of
this
problem.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph fully develops and explains its main point. The essay touches on significant ideas but lacks depth and further explanation in several places.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to begin each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task response
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to substantiate your points. This will demonstrate a higher level of understanding and engagement with the topic.
task response
The essay presents a clear stance and addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential for Task 2.
coherence and cohesion
The language is generally clear, with good use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and appropriately summarise the main points discussed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • junk food
  • advertising
  • banning
  • influence
  • dietary habits
  • calories
  • nutrients
  • exposure
  • impressionable
  • lifestyle choices
  • physical activity
  • nutrition education
  • balanced diet
  • freedom of choice
  • market economy
  • informed decisions
  • manipulated
  • advertisements
  • combat obesity
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