Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the government should enhance streets
instead
of community Linking Words
transport
systems Use synonyms
such
as buses. Some Linking Words
people
believe that the development of motorways and roads can save moving time Use synonyms
while
I think that public Linking Words
transport
can totally solve rush hour and protect the environment.
It is vital to understand that public Use synonyms
transport
can transfer more Use synonyms
people
than motorbikes or cars. To explain, with the number of seals which triple or more than cars, public Use synonyms
transport
like busses can drive numerous Use synonyms
people
at 1 time. Use synonyms
This
will lead to a decrease in using cars or motorbikes Linking Words
then
the traffic congestion will be alleviated. Linking Words
This
solution is applied in Ho Chi Minh City by providing buses more frequently.
Linking Words
However
, there was an opposite side justifying that enhancing motorways and roads would be convenient and time-saving. The major problem for Linking Words
this
is Linking Words
people
think that by repairing and extending streets, vehicles can be easy to Use synonyms
transport
so that the traffic congestion will be mitigated. Use synonyms
This
may be true but not the best way to improve rush hours in large cities where a large amount of vehicles are used every day.
In conclusion, it is believed the updating of public Linking Words
transport
brings benefits Use synonyms
as well as
streets.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is good. However, it would benefit from a more balanced presentation. Try to give equal weight to both perspectives before providing your opinion.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific and relevant examples for each point you make. While you mentioned Ho Chi Minh City, more details would add depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your points are generally clear, but there are minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. For example, 'the number of seals which triple or more than cars' should be 'the number of seats in buses, which are often three or more times those in cars.'
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion could be strengthened. Ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively and that your introduction clearly states what you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your arguments by using more transitional phrases like 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' and 'on the other hand.'
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a clear organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide a real-world example (Ho Chi Minh City), which enhances the relevance of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.