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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for children to learn the different between right and wrong at early age .Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

It's extremely paramount for
kids
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 to distinguish between right and wrong, How to behave and be civil. And every action has a reasonable consequence given by the child's
parents
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 or teacher. I agree with
this
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 opinion. In the recent decade,
kids
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 have been exposed to a lot of violent content whether it is on television or social media, And even in real-life scenarios. It is the parent's job to limit these types of content for their children and teach them at a young age how to behave if they were in the same situation
accordingly
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.
For instance
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, when a child watches a movie and there is a bullying scene, The
parents
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 should acknowledge the situation and claim it as a bad take to teach the kid what to do if that happens to them.
Also
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,
Kids
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 lead by example, If their
parents
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 were psychologically and emotionally unstable and unaware of their condition the kid could pick up some of that behaviour and claim it as if it was right. There are a lot of steps that should be taken before punishing the kid.
First,
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Talk to the child about why they acted the way they did in the situation and what they felt afterwards
,
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apply
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 because maybe
that is
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 the only way they got the things they wanted which is by violent action.
Second,
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Teach the young boy or girl what to do next time they face the same problem.
Finally
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, Set a punishment as
parents
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 and teachers see fit to the action. That way the children now know how to deal with the issue next time around. In conclusion,
Kids
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 are pure and the only thing that could change that if they were influenced by their
parents
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, peers and digital content. Punishing them right away is not the prime solution, There are reasons behind their behaviour and it should be handled by a stable person.

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task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the thesis and outlining your main points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or scenarios to illustrate your points clearly.
task achievement
You address the importance of distinguishing right from wrong effectively.
task achievement
The essay displays an understanding of the role parents and teachers play in shaping children's behavior.
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