some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
it is believed that there is a better way to invest in
roads
and motorways. Others may hold a different viewpoint that people
should focus more on public transport
systems
. From my perspective, spending money on transportation has more positives than negatives in our daily lives.
On the one hand, investing in roads
and motorways has some benefits. Firstly
, people
ensure that they can travel on safe roads
throughout their journey. When roads
are renewed and made beautifully, people
will not get in trouble during their travel because of several traps on the road, so this
solution helps improve life quality and gives people
more safety.
On the other hand
, many people
consider encouraging people
to use public transport
to have a positive effect on our daily lives. First of all, using private transportation causes the company to burn more fuel which is provided to consumers. Therefore
, using public transport
systems
helps less fuel burned into the environment so that we can preserve our lives and contribute to the development of the nation. Another reason is that using buses and railways is really crucial because our health can prevent issues such
as lung cancer. This
is due to
that vehicles release carbon dioxide emissions into the air directly, which affects our lungs a lot when we breathe. Last
but not least, using public transportation helps people
deal with vehicle congestion during rush hours. At that time, vehicles will move slower and a lot of private transport
systems
on the road such
as motors or cars can cause various accidents and make the situation become more exacerbate.
In conclusion, although
investing in roads
and motorways has some advantages, I am deeply convinced that the government encourage citizens to use public transport
systems
to play a more vital role because of the above-mentioned reasons.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
The introduction is clear and presents the topic well, but it could be more specific. Instead of stating 'spending money on transportation has more positives than negatives,' it would be better to directly state your position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence cohesion
The essay occasionally loses focus. Ensure that each paragraph supports your main argument clearly. Some sentences, especially in the second paragraph, are a bit confusing and could be clarified for better comprehension.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. For instance, mention specific cases or data about the benefits of public transportation in various cities or countries.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with clear paragraphs and a logical sequence of ideas. The introduction and conclusion help in framing the essay well.
task achievement
Your argument for the benefits of public transportation is well-stated and offers some compelling reasons such as reducing fuel consumption and enhancing public health.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.