Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you thing is a positive or a negative development?
In the current world, the frequent use of
smartphones
by children
is a result of the rapid development
of technology. While
smartphones
offer numerous benefits, they also
present various drawbacks. This
essay will explore why children
spend so much time on smartphones
and discuss whether this
is a positive or negative development
.
Firstly
, the rise of telecommunication technology will allow the young generation to gain more knowledge. It refers to the fact that plenty of educational applications can be installed on handphones. For example
, my son has several applications attached to his phone, like Duolingo (an application to learn languages), Scratch (to improve his coding skills), and Canva (to facilitate his drawing hobby). These applications are valuable resources that contribute to his educational development
and keep h
im
engaged for hours. Correct your spelling
I'm
Therefore
, smartphones
can be very helpful for children
’s learning.
Secondly
, however
, spending a lot of time using a handphone can contribute to a lack of self-development
in a youngster. It relates to the fact that kids who are exposed to screen phones at an earlier age can have a growth delay. For instance
, my friend's daughter has a speech delay because she watches too many videos on YouTube every day, a condition that leads to a lack of verbal interaction and practice. Studies have shown that children
who spend too much time on screens often miss out on essential social and cognitive development
activities. Thus
, getting exposed to a phone can be detrimental to a child’s growth.
In conclusion, while
smartphones
can significantly enhance children
’s knowledge and educational development
, they can also
pose substantial risks to their growth and development
. It is crucial to find a balance that leverages the benefits of this
technology while
mitigating its drawbacks. Ultimately, ensuring that children
use smartphones
in moderation will serve the best interests of their development
and well-being.Submitted by mayaanita.studi on
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task achievement
Your introduction does well to set up the topic and mention both sides, but it could be made stronger by being slightly more specific about these pros and cons upfront.
coherence
To improve clarity, make sure to explain why these examples are significant to the point being made. For instance, explicitly connect how educational apps contribute to personal development skills beyond just engagement.
cohesion
Work on introducing new ideas more succinctly. For example, when transitioning to discussing the drawbacks, a clearer connection to the previous point will help maintain flow and coherence.
task achievement
The use of personal examples, such as the educational applications your son uses, effectively illustrates the benefits of smartphone usage.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay by mentioning the need for balance, which leaves the reader with a strong final impression.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is clear and each paragraph has a distinct focus that helps in building a coherent argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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