Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you thing is a positive or a negative development?

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In the current world, the frequent use of
smartphones
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by
children
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is a result of the rapid
development
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of technology.
While
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smartphones
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offer numerous benefits, they
also
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present various drawbacks.
This
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essay will explore why
children
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spend so much time on
smartphones
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and discuss whether
this
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is a positive or negative
development
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.
Firstly
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, the rise of telecommunication technology will allow the young generation to gain more knowledge. It refers to the fact that plenty of educational applications can be installed on handphones.
For example
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, my son has several applications attached to his phone, like Duolingo (an application to learn languages), Scratch (to improve his coding skills), and Canva (to facilitate his drawing hobby). These applications are valuable resources that contribute to his educational
development
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and keep h
im
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I'm
engaged for hours.
Therefore
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,
smartphones
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can be very helpful for
children
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’s learning.
Secondly
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,
however
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, spending a lot of time using a handphone can contribute to a lack of self-
development
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in a youngster. It relates to the fact that kids who are exposed to screen phones at an earlier age can have a growth delay.
For instance
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, my friend's daughter has a speech delay because she watches too many videos on YouTube every day, a condition that leads to a lack of verbal interaction and practice. Studies have shown that
children
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who spend too much time on screens often miss out on essential social and cognitive
development
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activities.
Thus
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, getting exposed to a phone can be detrimental to a child’s growth. In conclusion,
while
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smartphones
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can significantly enhance
children
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’s knowledge and educational
development
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, they can
also
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pose substantial risks to their growth and
development
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. It is crucial to find a balance that leverages the benefits of
this
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technology
while
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mitigating its drawbacks. Ultimately, ensuring that
children
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use
smartphones
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in moderation will serve the best interests of their
development
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and well-being.
Submitted by mayaanita.studi on

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task achievement
Your introduction does well to set up the topic and mention both sides, but it could be made stronger by being slightly more specific about these pros and cons upfront.
coherence
To improve clarity, make sure to explain why these examples are significant to the point being made. For instance, explicitly connect how educational apps contribute to personal development skills beyond just engagement.
cohesion
Work on introducing new ideas more succinctly. For example, when transitioning to discussing the drawbacks, a clearer connection to the previous point will help maintain flow and coherence.
task achievement
The use of personal examples, such as the educational applications your son uses, effectively illustrates the benefits of smartphone usage.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay by mentioning the need for balance, which leaves the reader with a strong final impression.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is clear and each paragraph has a distinct focus that helps in building a coherent argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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