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Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012
#information #numbers #workers #occupations #australia
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The given bar graph illustrates the data about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
workers
Use synonyms
 in various jobs migrating to Australia from 2009 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 account and computer
programmer
Replace the word
programming
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 witnessed an upward tendency, Cook and Software Engineer decreased.
In addition
Linking Words
, the employees in accountant
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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were the highest in all years throughout the timeframe. Looking at the figure, we can see clearly that there
was
Change the verb form
were
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 20000 accountants in 2009. After one year, the number of
workers
Use synonyms
 increased significantly to 28000 employees. In 2010, the amount of
accountant
Fix the agreement mistake
accountants
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 observed a downward tendency to 22000
workers
Use synonyms
 until it got to 21000
workers
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the computer programmer saw an upward tendency in 2010 ( from 1000
workers
Use synonyms
 to 21000
workers
Use synonyms
),
then
Linking Words
 it decreased to 2000
workers
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 in 2011.
Finally
Linking Words
, the number of computer
programmer
Fix the agreement mistake
programmers
show examples
 rose remarkably to 5000 employees in 2012. Turning back to the graph, 17000 cooks were recorded in 2009. It
also
Linking Words
 fluctuated from 17000
workers
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 to 15000
workers
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 increased to 18000
workers
Use synonyms
 in 2010,
2011
Correct word choice
and 2011
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 respectively. In 2012, it decreased slightly to 16000 cooks. Unsimilarly, the number of software
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
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 increased continuously from 19000
workers
Use synonyms
 to 21000
workers
Use synonyms
 between 2009 and 2011.
Then
Linking Words
, in 2012, it decreased moderately to 17000
workers
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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