IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Cities
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 have grown considerably, and providing sufficient housing for
families
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 has become one of the major challenges faced by authorities. It is argued that constructing tall
apartment
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 blocks is the most efficient way to address housing shortages in large
cities
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. I completely agree with
this
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 view because high-rise buildings make more efficient use of limited
land
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 and can provide a more affordable and viable form of housing for urban
families
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.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, it should be
emphasized
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emphasised
show examples
 that available
land
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 in densely populated
cities
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 is extremely limited, particularly in major urban areas in Europe and North America. As many developed
cities
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 are already heavily built up, constructing large numbers of detached houses would only exacerbate the shortage of available
land
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.
For instance
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, in densely populated
cities
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such
Linking Words
 as New York, limited space makes it increasingly difficult and expensive for
families
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 to purchase individual houses with private yards. High-rise
apartment
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 blocks,
by contrast
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, can accommodate hundreds of households on a relatively small area of
land
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.
Therefore
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, vertical housing represents a more sustainable way of meeting the needs of a growing urban population.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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,
apartment
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 living can alleviate the financial burden associated with purchasing and maintaining a detached house. Constructing one
apartment
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 block capable of accommodating hundreds of
families
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 is generally more cost-effective than developing the same number of individual houses.
In addition
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, apartments often require lower maintenance costs, making them a more viable alternative for young
families
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 and people with limited financial resources.
Consequently
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, increasing the supply of high-rise housing could contribute to making accommodation more accessible
while
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 allowing
cities
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 to use scarce
land
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 more efficiently.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, I completely agree that constructing tall
apartment
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 blocks is one of the most effective ways to address housing shortages in large
cities
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.
Such
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 developments can both alleviate housing costs and provide a more sustainable solution to the problem of limited urban space.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you stay with it. To make the answer even stronger, add one short point about a possible problem with tall blocks, such as less space or too many people in one area, then explain why they are still the best choice.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: tall blocks save land and can cost less. Give one more real and clear example, such as how a tall block near a train stop can help many workers live close to work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear plan: start, two main parts, and an end. Each part has one main idea, which makes the writing easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “Firstly”, “For instance”, “Secondly”, and “Consequently”, guide the reader well. You could use a few less linking words and make some links more direct, so the flow feels more natural.
coherence and cohesion
The last part sums up your two main points well. Try not to repeat the same words too often, such as “housing” and “limited”; use simple different words where possible, like “homes”, “space”, or “land”.
task response
You answer the full question and give a strong, clear opinion: tall apartment blocks are the best way to provide more homes in big cities.
task response
The point about New York is useful and fits your argument about too little land in large cities.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas move in a clear order: lack of land first, then lower cost, then a short and clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part starts with a clear point and then explains it, so the reader can understand your message without effort.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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