In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport

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In some countries, it is often said investing

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

amount of money in building new rapid railway lines

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

among cities is very important. The alternative view is the budget should be used for upgrading the existing public

transportation

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, Jakarta

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

highly dependent

Change preposition

show examples

existing public transport,

hence

Linking Words

I strongly agree the money would be beneficial to refine current public transport. Existing public

transportation

Use synonyms

in Jakarta

is serving

Wrong verb form

serves

show examples

intercity and outer city

route

Fix the agreement mistake

routes

show examples

. Many employees

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

live outside Jakarta,

this

Linking Words

phenomenon makes the

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

highly

relies

Correct subject-verb agreement

rely

show examples

Change the preposition

upon

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

affordable public

transportation

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, most of them

are spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

about 3 hours a day

to commute

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commuting

show examples

from their house to their office.

This

Linking Words

issue

need

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needs

show examples

a solution from the government.

For instance

Linking Words

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

additional

bus

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buses

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with shorter waiting

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would bring

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

response from the community.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

option will require less governmental expense.

Travelers

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Travellers

show examples

among

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show examples

cities

is now have

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now have

show examples

plenty options of

public

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for public

show examples

transport.

However

Linking Words

, many people are curious and hoping the government would make

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new railway lines for travel from city to city with rapid train.

This

Linking Words

option could give

advantage

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an advantage

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by promoting tourism in other cities.

Though

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, the ticket price is impossible to be cheap and the cost of construction will be very high.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it will cause

Remove the article

apply

show examples

pain for livelihood around the construction site. In my observation, building a new train track will

spend

Verb problem

take

show examples

at least 2 years until it is official.

Along

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During

show examples

these 2 years, many

family

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families

show examples

will be disrupted by the construction activity,

such

Linking Words

as high air pollution and ground shaking.

Not to mention

Linking Words

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

investment involved in the preliminary study until the operation. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

each

alternatives

Change to a singular noun

alternative

show examples

has

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

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and

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

, I

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

firmly believe

spent

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

more money in making the existing public

transportation

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better is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preferable to accommodate more

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

pain points.

Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on Mon May 20 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both views of the prompt well and provides your personal opinion. However, the arguments could be elaborated further with more specific examples and clearer explanations to make them more compelling. For instance, provide a real-life example of how improvements in waiting times for current public transport have positively impacted commuter lives elsewhere.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some sentences are awkwardly phrased or grammatically incorrect, which disrupts the flow. Trying to use simpler sentences might help improve clarity. For example, simplify, 'Travelers among cities is now have plenty options of public transport,' to 'Currently, there are many options for intercity transport.'

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your argument from the start and see it summarized at the end.

complete response

You did a good job of presenting balanced arguments for both views before giving your personal opinion, which makes your essay quite comprehensive.

relevant specific examples

The essay addresses real-life issues, such as the long commuting times and dependence on existing public transport in Jakarta, which adds relevance to your arguments.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

infrastructure
efficient
congestion
sustainable
environmentally friendly
connectivity
economic growth
public transportation

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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

You have just returned from holiday and were not satisfied with your trip. Write to the travel agency. In your letter •Say where / when you went on holiday •Explain why you are not satisfied with your holiday •Tell them what you would like them to do

Many people use distance learning programmes to study at home, but others think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.