IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the best way to solve the traffic congestions in cities is to provide free public transports for 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #traffic #congestions #cities #transports #hours #week
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Some argue that public
transportation
 services every hour of the week are the main solution to reduce congestion in urban areas. I agree with
this
 proposal because
without
Add the comma(s)
, without
show examples
 reliable public passage,
people
 will rely more on private
vehicles
, causing excess capacity on several roads in the city. Most
people
 use
vehicles
 to reach their destination for their activities. Especially in cities where there are many offices with many employees and many schools with many students. If one person uses one
vehicle
, say a car.
As a result
,
this
 will cause a buildup of
vehicles
 at certain times. imagine if there was a way to put multiple
people
 in one
vehicle
 at once. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
this
 can reduce
vehicle
 volume on the street Public passage is essential to give
people
vehicle
 accommodation options. The availability of Free 24-hour service can be useful for some
people
 who have to go to work early in the morning and return home until midnight. Apart from that, when
people
 realize that using it is more comfortable,
this
 can create new habits in urban areas so that many
people
 will switch to using public
transportation
 as their main mode of
transportation
.
For example
, when the Jakarta government started operating the MRT, LRT and Busway, the incidence of traffic jams decreased. In conclusion, I agree with the suggestion that the accumulation of
vehicles
 which causes traffic jams can be reduced by the presence of public
transportation
 in towns.
Submitted by Azami on

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coherence
Your logical structure is generally good, but there are some lapses in coherence that can be improved. Ensure each idea flows smoothly into the next.
cohesion
Make sure to fully develop and support your main points with detailed explanations and examples to make your argument stronger.
introduction
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, effectively setting the stage and summarizing your argument.
task response
Your response is comprehensive and addresses the task reasonably well, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
examples
You included relevant specific examples which help to illustrate your points, such as the example of transportation improvements in Jakarta.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • public transportation
  • private vehicles
  • reduce
  • encourage
  • accommodate
  • improve
  • emissions
  • sustainable
  • eco-friendly
  • cost-intensive
  • allocate
  • significant funds
  • taxes
  • public services
  • safety
  • security
  • challenge
  • overcrowding
  • inconvenience
  • prefer
What to do next:
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