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Band 6.5

Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#say #people #attention
Growing interest in advertising has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
 aspect, some opine that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things, but others hold the view that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.
This
 essay will explore both views and
then
 my personal opinion will be suggested. It is often pointed out that commercial is extremely successful at persuading us to buy
products
. Proponents of
this
 argument suggest that
consumers
 are given product information.
This
 is because, with a wide range of
advertisements
, a majority of
advertisements
 introduce positive details of
products
,
inclulding
Correct your spelling
including
 updated functions and advanced design. What is more, each brand delivers social messages as brand identities in ads.
This
 obviously leads clients to highly support their brand and
products
 and
this
 in turn brings about constant purchasing.
Nevertheless
, some opponents insist that
advertisements
 are so common that we no longer pay attention to them.
Although
 there are benefits of advertisement, customers have experienced heavy stress. A pertinent example of
this
 is that reckless commercials have been shown on the Internet with exaggerated information.
This
 brings about a low motivation to
purchase
products
 when they watch the same ads frequently.
Moreover
,
consumers
 are more likely to
purchase
products
 carefully, since they search for information about
products
 personally, they check product reviews and find hidden negative aspects, so they distrust commercials. To recapitulate, I believe
advertisements
 are so common that we are less likely to pay attention to them because customers have experienced heavy stress and
consumers
 are more likely to
purchase
products
 carefully.
Thus
, marketing companies should reduce excessive
advertisements
 and
consumers
 will not believe advertised
products
 when they
purchase
products
.
Submitted by subin12260 on

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task achievement
Great job on addressing both views of the argument. To strengthen the discussion, consider adding more specific and diverse examples from various contexts, not just the internet.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is well-organized and easy to follow, try connecting your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. Using varied transitional phrases can enhance coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.
supported main points
You provided a balanced discussion of both sides, which is well appreciated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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