Crimes and other kinds of information on TV and newspaper have bad consequences. This kind of information should be restricted to be shown in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.
In the ultra-modern epoch, crime has been inclining rapidly.
Although
some people
believe that spreading awareness about crime through media
or newspapers
is not good and there should be a ban on this
, I partially accord
with Verb problem
agree
this
scenario . My viewpoints will be explicated in the subsequent paragraphs.
To commence with, there are
a wide array of reasons why Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
reckon that illegal activities should not be spread
to the country
through some platforms. The most significant reason is that media
or newspapers
sometimes spread
fake news
through which the environment of the country
gets disturbed. The BBC News
for example
, in 2019 spread
the news
that a girl was rapped by two men, but after a few days, the truth was revealed that they were in a relationship and everything happened according to
the girl’s will. Consequently
, for a few days, the environment of the country
got
disturbed as Verb problem
was
people
wanted justice for the girl, but at last
the Add a comma
last,
news
came
out to be fake.
Verb problem
turned
On the contrary
, despite having the arguments there are a plethora of disagreements on this
phenomenon. The first and foremost is that some people
are connected to the world through newspapers
and if newspapers
will stop spreading the news
about crimes and other activities happening around, they will be surviving in complete darkness. My grandfather, for instance
, reads newspapers
daily through which he comes to know about the situations around him. As a result
, he comes to and makes me aware of these things and asks me to be cautious. Therefore
, if news
about the crime is not spread
through newspapers
it will be unfair to some people
. Another worth considering reason is that the media
also
plays a pivotal role in spreading the news
about the selling and buying of drugs in some areas, through which parents can make sure their kids are not into these and can take strict actions. These reasons support why media
or newspapers
should not be stopped from spreading such
news
.
To conclude
, I would like to ingeminate that as it is believed that media
or newspapers
should put a haul on spreading the news
about crimes or other activities, I believe it will have more cons than pros. So, it is important for the media
to spread
about what is happening in the country
amongst the individuals of the country
.Submitted by jaspreet on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistency in your arguments. You start by partially agreeing with the statement, but your body paragraphs seem to strongly lean towards one opinion. Clarify your stance in the conclusion to make it more consistent with the introduction.
task achievement
While providing examples, try to ensure they are relevant and accurately represent your point. For instance, the BBC News example could be discussed with more clarity regarding why such fake news is relevant to your argument.
task achievement
Enhance your range of vocabulary and check for grammatical accuracy. Some sentences are overly complex or contain minor grammatical inaccuracies. Simplifying these sentences could improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow. For instance, phrases like 'on the contrary' can be used more effectively to indicate a shift in argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and capture the main idea of the essay.
task achievement
The essay is well-structured with clear main ideas and supporting points in each paragraph.
task achievement
The use of specific examples and explanations supports the main points, making the essay more convincing.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.