IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the Dubai gold sales in 2002, showing monthly data points that reflect fluctuations in sales volume throughout the year.

The line graph illustrates the Dubai gold sales in 2002, showing monthly data points that reflect fluctuations in sales volume throughout the year.
#line #dubai #gold #sales #data #points #fluctuations #volume #year
The graph shows information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Dubai
 gold in the year 2002 with monthly information which
reflect
Change the verb form
reflects
show examples
 oscillation in
sales
 price during the year.
Overall
, the rate of
Dubai
 gold
sales
 was a top in March
while
 the lowest point of
Dubai
 gold
sales
 was in July and September . First of all, the number of
Dubai
sales
 in 2002
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started
200
Change preposition
at 200
show examples
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams in January and can be observed the slightly
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 under point 250
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams , after that the red line
reapaid
Correct your spelling
repaid
repair
 increased to hit
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
peak to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 350
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams in March after which the trend of
sales
 dropped quickly during the next 4 months to record the lowest number in the line graph it was above 100
million
 . There was a growth from July to August around double rate and the next month it is can
seen
Change the verb form
see
show examples
deliced
Correct your spelling
delivered
 to
according to
 the same number.
Submitted by sialamer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words dubai, sales, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: