The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The
prospective
of declining Replace the word
prospect
human's
Change noun form
human
health
is a Use synonyms
modern day
concern but how much will it decline in the future is unpredictable. The decline of both physical and mental Add a hyphen
modern-day
health
could be accelerated or either Use synonyms
slown
down by several factors. In the essay below I will discuss Correct your spelling
slowed
about
the consequences and expect to agree.
On one hand, I agree that physical Remove the preposition
apply
health
is affected by poor food choices, lack of physical activity and Use synonyms
constantly
staring at screens. Poor food choices Change the word
constant
such
as fast foods and minimal physical activity are leading to the development Linking Words
chronic
metabolic diseases Change preposition
of chronic
such
as diabetes, hypercholsterolemia Linking Words
ad
cancer. The modern working environment that relies on Correct your spelling
and
device
to compute data for efficiency is affecting the eyesight of youngsters and adults. Fix the agreement mistake
devices
The mental
Correct article usage
Mental
health
is steadily declining by devices and applications which manipulate us to develop low self-esteem and anti-social behaviours are on the rise especially Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
dysinformation
and manipulation by digital media. The efficiency of the technology is Correct your spelling
disinformation
misinformation
acclerating
Correct your spelling
accelerating
this
without any consideration.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, disease diagnostics, pharmaceutical discoveries and nutraceutical innovations are progressing at a rapid rate to catch up with Linking Words
the
modern diseases to detect and cure diseases at an early stage or stop them from progressing Correct article usage
apply
further
. Psychological therapists Linking Words
are relying
on meditation and mindfulness therapies to improve Wrong verb form
rely
the
Correct article usage
apply
overall
mental Linking Words
health
and prevent people from undergoing depression. Remote mental Use synonyms
health
therapy is Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
avaialble
as an instant solution to solve issues immediately.
Correct your spelling
available
However
, the developments of these modern technologies are struggling to keep up with the pace of evolution within the human body Linking Words
Linking Words
that
is misusing development for its own convenience. There are certain people who have access to Correct pronoun usage
which
chocies
that will harm your Correct your spelling
choices
health
but not everyone has Use synonyms
the
access to the cure.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by onlineconsumer on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To score higher, ensure your main ideas are fully developed with relevant and specific examples. For instance, include specific studies or real-world examples that highlight health trends.
coherence cohesion
Work on your logical structure by clearly separating different points into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument, which adds depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a somewhat clear conclusion, which helps in setting the stage and summarizing your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.