IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

While it is Sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminal, other believe that there are better ways to deal with what is your opinion?

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While
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 many believe that imprisonment is the most effective way to deal with criminals, others argue that alternative approaches may lead to better long-term outcomes. In my view,
although
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 prison is necessary for serious
offenders
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,
rehabilitation
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 programs and restorative justice can be more effective in addressing the root causes of crime, particularly
for
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apply
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minor
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
. On one hand, incarceration plays a crucial role in maintaining law and order. It ensures that dangerous criminals are removed from
society
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, preventing them from causing
further
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 harm.
Additionally
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, strict sentencing reinforces the idea that crime carries serious consequences, which can deter potential
offenders
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.
For example
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, harsh punishments for violent crimes and repeat
offenses
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offences
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 send a strong message that illegal
behavior
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behaviour
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 will not be tolerated.
Furthermore
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, prisons provide a controlled environment where
offenders
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 may reflect on their actions, potentially leading to personal reform.
However
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, the effectiveness of imprisonment in reducing crime remains debatable, as high reoffending rates are common in many countries.
On the other hand
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, alternative approaches often provide better long-term solutions. Many
offenders
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, particularly first-time or minor criminals, commit crimes
due to
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 factors
such
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 as poverty, lack of education, or mental health struggles.
Instead
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 of strict punishment,
rehabilitation
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 programs, vocational training, and
counseling
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counselling
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 can equip them with the necessary skills to reintegrate into
society
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.
Moreover
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, community service allows
offenders
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 to make amends
while
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 benefiting
society
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. Countries like Norway and the Netherlands, which prioritize
rehabilitation
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 over punishment, have significantly lower reoffending rates compared to nations with stricter penal systems. In conclusion,
while
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 imprisonment is essential for serious crimes, alternative measures should be prioritized for minor
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
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. A justice system that balances punishment with
rehabilitation
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 not only promotes fairness but
also
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 ensures a safer and more stable
society
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 in the long run.

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Task Achievement
Try to include more varied examples to illustrate your points, especially from diverse contexts or studies, to enrich your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, consider adding linking phrases to further emphasize the connections between your ideas and enhance the flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets up the two main sides of the argument very well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively encapsulates the main points and reiterates your personal opinion clearly, showing a well-rounded response.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas about the roles of both imprisonment and alternative methods.
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