IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The working week should be shorter and workers should a longer week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a view that government should cut down on working weeks and the non-working
days
Use synonyms
 should be longer.
While
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 having more leisure
time
Use synonyms
 improves productivity and creativity, it is better to keep things as it was before to avoid a buildup of
work
Use synonyms
 and having to do everything at once.
Moreover
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, frequent breaks might lead to inefficiency if employees struggle to get back into their workflow. Nowadays, it is really difficult for employees to find enough leisure
time
Use synonyms
 because of the environmental constraints. In fact, having more free
days
Use synonyms
 is necessary for humans’ health and mind.
This
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 can improve their
work
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 ability and brainstorming, which are necessary in order to
work
Use synonyms
 efficiently .
For instance
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, during their leisure
time
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 , people fully rejuvenated, clear their minds, and when they return to their professional routine, they demonstrate enhanced productivity ,
work
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 harder.
Therefore
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, make weekends longer can generate new ideas that drive business growth.
On the other hand
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, after pretty relaxing it will be hard to keep balance between
work
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 and life.
In addition
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, during weekends humans’
work
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 accumulates and
this
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 complicates the whole situation.
For example
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, when they return to
work
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 after a good rest, they face significantly more tasks than they received daily before.
Additionally
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, they will need to speed up the process
due to
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 the given deadline, and
as a result
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, they won’t have
time
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 to implement new ideas.
Hence
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, it will be better to cut hours of working rather than
days
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. In conclusion, from my perspective, relaxation is essential for mental clarity, but there should be a balance between workweeks and weekends.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of extending non-working
days
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, optimizing
work
Use synonyms
 hours could be a more effective approach.

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly signal your position on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for better flow, such as using linking phrases.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and reinforce the points made.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for this type of question.
Task Achievement
You have included relevant points about the benefits of leisure time and the challenges of longer weekends, which demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • employment rates
  • leisure activities
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • economic impacts
  • environmental benefits
  • carbon emissions
  • employee well-being
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