IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the best essy to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or ridind motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #essy #road #safety #age #cars #ridind #motorbikes
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Currently, there is a controversial point about whether or not to increase the limit
age
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 for driving cars or riding motorbikes for the safety of the road.The writer of
this
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 essay agrees with the notion of minimizing dangerous roads by increasing the legal
age
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 for driving vehicles
due to
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 improving the consciousness of people who participate in driving in the street and the ability to drive safely. one of the core reasons for raising the limit
age
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 of
drivers
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 is the awareness of traffic participants other words , mature people never show off dangerous skills to boast about themselves as youngsters,
moreover
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, they always try to keep their health as a priority
while
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 they are driving and make traffic participants feel safe.
For instance
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,the Vietnam government implemented a law in transportation that increased the
age
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 to get a license to drive a car,
subsequently
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,the rate of accidents in
this
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 country decreased sharply. another crucial point to lift the
age
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 of getting a license for street safety is the capability of
drivers
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 to control the handlebar or steering wheel.To explain
further
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,
drivers
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 who are older than others drive more safely because they can solve the information and keep the steering wheel or handlebar stable when they are driving in the street,
moreover
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, they
also
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 have a lot of experience in riding so that they can make a decision which is ensured to be safe for the pedestrians and other
drivers
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. Take India as a contextual example,which minimized the accidental proportion by only permitting testing the license of driving vehicles for whom was over 24 years old ,After,
this
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 campaign has been very effective and the rate of accidents has dropped quickly since 1990. In conclusion, raising awareness and enhancing the ability to ride are the strong points reasons why increasing the
age
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 of driving makes the road safer
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully to provide a comprehensive argument. For example, discuss potential counterarguments or limitations to your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining consistency in the use of singular and plural forms, and ensure proper punctuation to improve overall readability.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as policies in Vietnam and India that had a positive impact on road safety.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, providing a good framework for the essay's argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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