IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #internet #newspapers
Rapid expansion of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has made
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
thing
Correct article usage
a thing
show examples
 of
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 as mobiles and computers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 replaced hard copies. I totally agree with
this
 notion because
news
 and current affairs are readily available to the citizens. For decades,
newspapers
 were the major source of of giving updates about sports and current affairs to the populace,
however
, with
rise
Add an article
the rise
show examples
 of mobile phones and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
,
downfall
Add an article
the downfall
show examples
 of
this
 mode of
news
 was seen. Earlier, people
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to wait for
newspapers
 till early morning
whereas
 now updated and recent
news
 are just one click away from them, making
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 and
convient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for readers.
For example
, I
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 to read
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 in my childhood but now my favourite newspaper
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
 its own
news
 website and is available 24 hours. Social media has contributed a lot
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
decline
Add an article
the decline
a decline
show examples
 of
newspapers
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 certain ways. In
this
 era,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 easy to find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trending global
news
,
moreover
, these social media platforms are accessible free of cost.
For instance
, X (Formerly known as Twitter) which is free and is without any subscription
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
updated
Correct article usage
an updated
show examples
 trending chart in its feed, which
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
Add an article
the reader
show examples
reader
Fix the agreement mistake
readers
show examples
to match
Change preposition
in matching
show examples
 the pace of trending
news
either
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 it is political or sports. In conclusion, I would reiterate that
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 of social media and
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has made
newspapers
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 of
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 because these
plateforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
 keep readers and users up to date
whereas
 for
newspapers
 people have to wait 24 hours.
Submitted by dhindsa.randeep on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction presents the main idea clearly, but it can be improved by briefly outlining the points you will discuss. This will make the essay more coherent from the start.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you proofread your work for minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the' before 'internet') and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'mobiles and computers has' should be 'mobiles and computers have').
task achievement
The body paragraphs are well-structured and present clear ideas. However, try to expand on your examples with a bit more detail to strengthen your argument—for instance, providing more context on how immediate news availability influences daily life.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs to reinforce your argument. This helps in improving the cohesion and leaves a lasting impression.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance and argument from the beginning, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples from your own experience, which makes the argument more relatable and substantiated.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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