IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Big family has more benefits than living in a small family

On the one hand, both a small family and a large family have good and bad sides.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if you live in a small family, you feel free and if you want to do something, no one can destroy you. A small family
also
 spends less money. Take
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
 example,you live in a small family,
due
Correct word choice
and due
show examples
 to the small amount of people in the family, you spend less money on buying food and clothes than in a large family.But living in a small family has its own downsides. If you live in a small family, you will move away from people,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
 of
this
, your relationship with your relatives and friends may deteriorate.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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introduction conclusion present
Include a clear introduction and conclusion. This will help frame your essay and provide a sense of completeness for the reader.
logical structure
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs. Start with an introductory sentence, followed by supporting details, and conclude with a summary or a transition to the next paragraph.
relevant specific examples
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, considering the advantages and disadvantages of both small and large families.
clear comprehensive ideas
The language used is clear and understandable, effectively conveying the main ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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