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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the number of working hours per week, in industrial sector, in four European countries in 2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons with relevant.

The charts below show the number of working hours per week, in industrial sector, in four European countries in 2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons with relevant.
#show #hours #week #sector #four #european #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The line charts below illustrate the amount of time per week, in the industrial sector, in France and Denmark in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the highest working
hours
Use synonyms
 in France are 31-35
hours
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
, in Denmark, it is 36-40
hours
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, France is the place with the lowest working amount of residents. The sum of residents who
work
Use synonyms
 1-14
hours
Use synonyms
 is 10%
while
Linking Words
, the percentage of citizens who
work
Use synonyms
 for 15-20 or 21-30 are above 10%. The rate of
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 31-35
hours
Use synonyms
 is the highest proportion in the graph at 50%. The number of
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 50+
hours
Use synonyms
 is the same amount as the
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 1-14
hours
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in Denmark the
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 1-14, 15-20, 21-30, 41-45, 46-50 and 50+
hours
Use synonyms
 is almost the same by 10%,
however
Linking Words
, only the quantity of crowd who
work
Use synonyms
 31-35 is above 20% and the interest of individuals who
work
Use synonyms
 36-40
hours
Use synonyms
 is the highest point in the picture by 70% which is a higher fraction than the highest point in
other graph
Change the wording
another graph
other graphs
show examples
.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, work, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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