In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

#sports #athletes #substances #performance #phenomenon

In many

branch

Change to a plural noun

branches

show examples

of sports, the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of athletes who got caught using illegal drugs to increase their ability is on

Correct article usage

the

show examples

rise.

This

essay will suggest that high pressure to win competition makes athletes willing to take the substance.

This

can be prevented by implementing rules that require them to take drug tests before the competition and punish them if they have violated

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Naturally, A person's goal in joining

competition

Correct article usage

a competition

show examples

is to win. Especially in professional sports, where there is a high stake in taking home precious awards.

Hence

, many sportsmen cheat their way to the top by consuming unregulated substances to give them a physical advantage in beating their opponents.

For example

, there was a massive doping scandal involving the Russian Winter

Olympic

Team in 2020.

As a result

, 48

Olympic

medals were stripped from Russia in that year's

Olympic

Regulators need to take action

in protecting

Change preposition

to protect

show examples

the integrity of the game. The best solution to

this

issue is to require specific drug tests for anyone who wants to compete in the sporting event.

Furthermore

, there is

need

Correct article usage

a need

show examples

to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

punishment

Change preposition

for

show examples

anyone who

are

Change the verb form

show examples

taking those illegal

suplements

Correct your spelling

supplements

. The IOC had banned

Russian

Correct article usage

the Russian

show examples

Olympic

Committee (ROC) contingent from joining later

Olympic

events because of the doping scandal involving them.

Consequently

, there

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been zero

case

Change to a plural noun

cases

show examples

of cheating in

Correct article usage

the olympic

show examples

olympic

Correct your spelling

olympics

since that accident. In conclusion, athletes' competitive spirit in reaching their goals can result in them consuming illegal essences. For that reason, rules and punishments should be implemented by the regulator

Submitted by Azami on Tue May 21 2024

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Grammar

Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. For instance, 'In many branch of sports' should be 'In many branches of sports.'

Grammar

Expand the range of sentence structures to enhance the essay's linguistic variety.

Detail

Provide deeper analysis and more specific examples to support the main points.

Structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly addresses the essay question.

Introduction

The introduction clearly states the issue and suggests solutions, which sets up the essay well.

Conclusion

The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the points made.

Examples

Relevant examples, such as the mention of the Russian Winter Olympic Team doping scandal, are used to support the arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
Doping
Anti-doping regulations
Detection methods
Ban substances
Ethical issues
Health risks
Fair play
Sportsmanship
Stakes
Pressure to succeed
Enforcement
Awareness programs
Testing frequency
Entourage
Science advancement
Financial gains

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In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Sports have always been the point of interest for people for ages.Olympics games are historical events which happen every four years.

Nowadays, teamwork is in fashion in the workplace and many people working with a group of people. What are the advantages and disadvantages teamwork brings to people who prefer to do so?

Robots and artificial intelligent are being developed to replace human in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative effect in social

Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to tackle environmental issues. Others believe it is up to each individual to be environmentally responsible. Discuss both sides.

Overweight Children In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?