IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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In accordance with societal norms, engaging in criminal activity can lead to a permanent label for an individual.
However
Linking Words
, evolving perspectives, the implementation of strict penalties, and the receipt of support from society have led me to believe that individuals can emerge from the realm of criminal
behaviour
Use synonyms
. The primary goal of government-implemented rehabilitation programs is to transform the mindsets of offenders, thereby reducing the likelihood of engaging in illegal activities. Through these programs, offenders are afforded the opportunity
to begin
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 anew and adopt more ethical
behaviour
Use synonyms
. A survey conducted in 2020 indicated that a significant number of criminals have undergone a change in their thought processes
while
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 participating in welfare events held in jail. Another reason individuals refrain from criminal
behaviour
Use synonyms
 is the harsh punishment imposed by prison authorities.
In addition
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 to challenging living conditions,
such
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 as a single hard bed,
Correct article usage
a meagre
show examples
meagre
Correct article usage
a meagre
show examples
 diet, and a small, spartan cell lacking luxury facilities, lawbreakers are
also
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 required to perform unpaid labour. These factors serve as deterrents and teach them valuable lessons.
Furthermore
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, society provides support to some criminals, allowing them to reintegrate into society after punishment and work in various professions
while
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 building positive relationships with others.
As a result
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, they became responsible citizens. In summary, differing opinions exist regarding the potential for criminals to transform into responsible citizens.
While
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 some individuals hold the belief that criminal
behaviour
Use synonyms
 is irreversible and that reform is impossible, I maintain that a shift in mindset, combined with societal support, can result in a positive change for those who have served their punishment for criminal acts.

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relevant specific examples
Make sure every main point is supported by a relevant, specific example. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates your ability to think critically about the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to make your ideas and examples even clearer by breaking down complex points into simpler terms when needed.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your position on it, which is important for achieving a high score in task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with clear transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This contributes positively to your coherence and cohesion score.
task achievement
You successfully addressed the task by exploring both sides of the argument to some extent, though focusing more on your perspective. This shows a well-rounded understanding of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • recidivism
  • therapy
  • stigmatization
  • reoffending
  • accountability
  • support programs
  • proactive steps
  • personal choice
  • societal barriers
  • reform
  • transformation
  • opportunities
  • environment
  • social support
  • success stories
  • examples
  • criminal behavior
  • stereotype
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