IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do agree or disagree?

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The protection of
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 plays a significant role in the natural world. It is,
therefore
Linking Words
, not surprising to see how it has caused
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy among people about whether
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
actions
Use synonyms
 cannot develop the
environment
Use synonyms
, and
only
Correct word choice
whether only
show examples
corporations
Change noun form
corporations'
corporation's
show examples
 and
governments
Change noun form
governments'
government's
show examples
actions
Use synonyms
 can make a huge difference. Some people firmly support their argument,
while
Linking Words
 others adamantly object to it. I have solid reasons to agree with both of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 which are a single
Use synonyms
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 power is not enough to improve and a single
Use synonyms
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 power can influence others.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, supporters of
this
Linking Words
 matter claim that
action
Correct article usage
the action
show examples
 of
Add an article
the organization
an organization
show examples
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 is a bedrock of
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. It
widely
Add a missing verb
is widely
show examples
 believed that developing the
environment
Use synonyms
 is a long-term process and, it is only possible with a plan.
For instance
Linking Words
, one reaction about climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as decreasing plastic consumption cannot make a huge difference.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
budget
Add an article
the budget
a budget
show examples
 of individuals impacts
this
Linking Words
 issue. Meaning that
governments
Change noun form
governments'
government's
show examples
 and corporations’
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 regular and more organized.
Also
Linking Words
, the fundamental goal of some corporations is only about protection of
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. In short, developing the qualification of environmental subjects
such
Linking Words
 as agriculture is influenced not only
budget
Change preposition
by budget
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
targets
Change preposition
by targets
show examples
. On the other flip side, opponents of
this
Linking Words
 matter have totally different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 about
this
Linking Words
 debate. They emphasize that individual
actions
Use synonyms
 can influence
Add an article
the decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 of organizations.
This
Linking Words
 is a quite satisfactory argument depending on
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
 that a single
person
Use synonyms
maybe cannot
Wrong verb form
may not
show examples
 change the all situation but he/she can point out
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
awareness
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 has an integral part in life.
For example
Linking Words
, Greta Thunberg who is 13 years old
compains
Correct your spelling
explains
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 right in the world and gives
speech
Add an article
a speech
show examples
 about
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. She directly
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
 governments and international corporations’ opinions. It can be concluded that
Correct article usage
a logical
show examples
logical
Change the word
logically
show examples
 single
person
Use synonyms
criticize
Change the verb form
criticizes
show examples
impact
Correct article usage
the impact
show examples
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 of
organization
Correct article usage
an organization
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are limitless
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to make a difference
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 developing the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, when everything is considered, I am inclined to believe that there should be a delicate balance between
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
 and
organization
Replace the word
organisational
show examples
actions
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the context well, but it would benefit from clearer thesis statements to outline the main ideas that will be discussed in the essay. Try to clearly state your position and briefly mention your main points.
task achievement
Your ideas sometimes lack depth and specifics. Make sure to provide detailed and clear arguments to support your claims. This will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
Some arguments are not fully developed. Ensure that each main point is accompanied by sufficient explanation and examples. For instance, your point about Greta Thunberg could be expanded to better illustrate how individuals can influence larger entities.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is generally good, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to improve flow and connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
While you introduce and conclude the essay effectively, make sure that the body paragraphs are well-linked and each has a clear main idea. This would make the essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are relevant, but often they need more support. Strengthen your arguments by adding more relevant examples and explaining them clearly.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction provides a solid background and sets the context for the essay problem.
task achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view of the topic.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and provides a balanced view on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
What to do next:
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