Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do agree or disagree?

The protection of
environment
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the environment
show examples
plays a significant role in the natural world. It is,
therefore
, not surprising to see how it has caused
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy among people about whether
people
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people's
show examples
actions
cannot develop the
environment
, and
only
Correct word choice
whether only
show examples
corporations
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corporations'
corporation's
show examples
and
governments
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governments'
government's
show examples
actions
can make a huge difference. Some people firmly support their argument,
while
others adamantly object to it. I have solid reasons to agree with both of
two
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the two
show examples
which are a single
person
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person's
show examples
power is not enough to improve and a single
person
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person's
show examples
power can influence others.
To begin
with, supporters of
this
matter claim that
action
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the action
show examples
of
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the organization
an organization
show examples
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
is a bedrock of
protection
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the protection
show examples
of
environment
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the environment
show examples
. It
widely
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is widely
show examples
believed that developing the
environment
is a long-term process and, it is only possible with a plan.
For instance
, one reaction about climate
changes
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change
show examples
such
as decreasing plastic consumption cannot make a huge difference.
On the other hand
,
budget
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the budget
a budget
show examples
of individuals impacts
this
issue. Meaning that
governments
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governments'
government's
show examples
and corporations’
budget
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budgets
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
regular and more organized.
Also
, the fundamental goal of some corporations is only about protection of
environment
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the environment
show examples
. In short, developing the qualification of environmental subjects
such
as agriculture is influenced not only
budget
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by budget
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
targets
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by targets
show examples
. On the other flip side, opponents of
this
matter have totally different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
about
this
debate. They emphasize that individual
actions
can influence
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the decision
show examples
decision
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decisions
show examples
of organizations.
This
is a quite satisfactory argument depending on
fact
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the fact
show examples
that a single
person
maybe cannot
Wrong verb form
may not
show examples
change the all situation but he/she can point out
about
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apply
show examples
awareness
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
the
environment
has an integral part in life.
For example
, Greta Thunberg who is 13 years old
compains
Correct your spelling
explains
the
environment
right in the world and gives
speech
Add an article
a speech
show examples
about
importance
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the importance
show examples
of
environment
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the environment
show examples
. She directly
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
governments and international corporations’ opinions. It can be concluded that
Correct article usage
a logical
show examples
logical
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logically
show examples
single
person
criticize
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criticizes
show examples
impact
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the impact
show examples
action
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actions
show examples
of
organization
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an organization
show examples
.
To sum up
, there are limitless
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to make a difference
about
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in
show examples
developing the
environment
.
Nevertheless
, when everything is considered, I am inclined to believe that there should be a delicate balance between
individuals
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individual
show examples
and
organization
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organisational
show examples
actions
.
Submitted by emiretatli7 on

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the context well, but it would benefit from clearer thesis statements to outline the main ideas that will be discussed in the essay. Try to clearly state your position and briefly mention your main points.
task achievement
Your ideas sometimes lack depth and specifics. Make sure to provide detailed and clear arguments to support your claims. This will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
Some arguments are not fully developed. Ensure that each main point is accompanied by sufficient explanation and examples. For instance, your point about Greta Thunberg could be expanded to better illustrate how individuals can influence larger entities.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is generally good, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to improve flow and connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
While you introduce and conclude the essay effectively, make sure that the body paragraphs are well-linked and each has a clear main idea. This would make the essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are relevant, but often they need more support. Strengthen your arguments by adding more relevant examples and explaining them clearly.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction provides a solid background and sets the context for the essay problem.
task achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view of the topic.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and provides a balanced view on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
What to do next:
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