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Writing Samples
Band 8

Write an essay on the following topics (at least 250 words). Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

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Each year, a large number of citizens migrate from one country to another because of various reasons.
This
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 provides both advantages and disadvantages which will be discussed below. First of all, one of the most obvious advantages of migration for the individual is to explore a new experience. Those who migrate will have more life experiences compared to those who do not.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a recent study from the Faculty of Political Science, at Harvard University, 8 out of 10 U.S. students tend to have a better life quality when given an opportunity to travel over the world during their summer vacation.
Moreover
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, living in a society whose tradition is not native can lead migrants to learn a different culture. Travelling across the country creates numerous necessary skills to find a life goal.
On the other hand
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, moving to a new place among strangers can cause a serious culture shock. Some of them can be depressed from adapting themselves to a new circumstance. To illustrate
this
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, a survey recently conducted by the New York Times revealed that two-thirds of American teenagers who attend the internship program abroad with poor preparation will have difficulty adapting themselves to their environment.
Moreover
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, being environed by
such
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 a different society forces migrants to be stressed. Without good preparation, they can be looked down on by their surroundings for a different behaviour.
To conclude
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, migrating from one country to another leads to a better experience and more opportunities, meanwhile, it can
also
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 bring severe culture shock and depression.

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task response
The essay addresses the topic effectively, but there is room for more depth in discussing both the advantages and disadvantages. Try to include more specific examples and elaborate on each point to enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a logical flow of ideas. However, enhance the coherence by using more varied linking words and cohesive devices to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined and appropriately summarize the main ideas of the essay.
task response
The points made in the essay are supported with relevant examples, which add strength to the task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Remittances: Transfers of money by foreign workers to individuals in their home country.
  • Brain Drain: The emigration of highly trained or intelligent people from a particular country.
  • Cultural Enrichment: The positive addition of diverse cultural elements to a society.
  • Cultural Clash: When differing cultural values and beliefs conflict.
  • Social Tensions: The negative effects on social relationships due to differences.
  • Labor Market: The supply of available workers in relation to available work.
  • Economic Growth: The increase in the amount of goods and services produced per head of the population over a period of time.
  • Unemployment: The state of being without a job despite being willing to work.
  • Underemployment: The underuse of a worker because a job does not use the worker's skills or is part-time.
  • Personal Growth: The process of improving oneself through such activities as enhancing employment skills, increasing consciousness, and building wealth.
  • Social Isolation: A state in which an individual lacks a sense of social belonging or engagement with others.
  • Public Services: Services provided by the government to its citizens.
  • Resource Allocation: The distribution of resources among competing groups or programs.
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