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Band 5.5

Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #uniform #part #workplace #disagree
In some companies and workplaces wearing a
uniform
 is a must. Especially when someone works for a serious
job
such
 as a lawyer,doctor, soldier and many more. So, is it a must for the workers to wear a
uniform
 to work? The answer is it depends on what your
job
 is. In some
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
, they do have the rules to wear uniforms but for others, they tend to free their employee of what to wear. It's not a bad thing to wear a
uniform
 they make us look tidy and smart.
Furthermore
, for those who struggle in a professional and serious aspect .
Although
 some of their
uniform
 are not so comfortable for them they must follow the terms and conditions that were been made. On the other side, when the company frees the
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 on what they are wearing. I think it's really great because they can be more happy and enjoy their
job
 . The jobs that are suitable for
this
 kind of rule
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a non-formal
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
such
 as book writing, content creation and all of the jobs that require creativity. Can uniforms change moods on working? The answer is yes , they do have a great impact on moods for working.
For example
 , people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are working in a company that has rules on using uniforms is a must tend to get bored easily because they feel like they are forced to do things that they don't really want. It's different from them who can wear whatever they want to go to work. As mentioned, they tend to be more happy and enjoy their work. In my opinion, wearing a
uniform
 is a good thing to do but it must relate to the
job
 itself. If the jobs require professionalism aspect they have to wear their
uniform
 and if it is just for non-formal
jobsthink
Correct your spelling
work
 the employees can wear whatever they want as long it's polite.
Submitted by yusufakhrimdr on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity of ideas and avoid repetition. For example, the phrase "Is it a must..." could be better expressed for clarity.
task achievement
Although examples are given, they can be more detailed and specific. Enrich the essay with deeper insights or personal experiences related to both formal and non-formal jobs.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs for smoother reading. The switch from discussing the necessity of uniforms to their impact on mood could be more fluid.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion. Summarize key points more clearly and state your final stance unequivocally.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction lays a clear foundation by stating the issue and raising the question of necessity.
logical structure
Several perspectives are mentioned, touching upon both formal and non-formal job settings, which shows an understanding of the topic.
supported main points
The essay addresses the psychological impact of uniforms, which adds depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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