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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows a number of tourists visiting a particular carribean island between 2010 and 2017

The graph below shows a number of tourists visiting a particular carribean island between 2010 and 2017
The figure illustrates the statistics from the year 2010 to 2017 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
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 who visited Caribbean
Island
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 by residing on cruise ships and on the
island
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. The unit for
visitors
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 travelled is in millions. Among the
visitors
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 who stayed on the cruise ships, 0.25
million
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 lived in 2010 and 2012 and half a
million
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 in 2011 and 2013. By 2014, the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 residing rose to half a
million
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 taking the value to 1
million
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. From 2014 to 2017, there was an exponential increase in the
number
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 of
visitors
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 with every year 0.25
million
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 people adding taking to 2
million
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 by the end of 2017. Among the
visitors
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 who lived on the
Island
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, from 2010 to 2011 for 1 year the
Use synonyms
visitors
Change to a genitive case
visitor's
visitors'
show examples
 population remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 0.75
million
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. But, from 2011 to 2013 it rose by a
million
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. And later on, from 2013 to 2015 the
number
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 of
tourists
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 remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
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of
Change preposition
at
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 about 1.5
million
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. There was
decline
Add an article
a decline
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 by 2016 of 0.5
million
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 but, it increased again to 1.5
million
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 by 2017.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
to conclude
Linking Words
 in total there was a steady rise in the
number
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 of
tourists
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 for 5 years and later by 2017 there was a surge of 3.5
million
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tourists
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 visiting the
island
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tourists, island, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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