May museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
The
Correct article usage
A
number
of Use synonyms
museums
Use synonyms
charge
entrance Use synonyms
fees
to the public, Use synonyms
while
others are completely free. Many Linking Words
people
think that visiting Use synonyms
museums
is supposed to be free. In my opinion, Use synonyms
however
, there Linking Words
are
Change the verb form
is
Correct article usage
a
the
Correct article usage
a
number
of benefits to Use synonyms
Wrong verb form
paying
pay
for admission.
Served as public spaces, Wrong verb form
paying
museums
have their own Use synonyms
significance
role in Replace the word
significant
people
's lives, and there are some advantages to entering Use synonyms
museums
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that is
is
free for the public. If entering Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Use synonyms
number
of Change the article
a number
the number
museums
is free, all Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
people
, from poor to wealthy, manage to visit there without any payment. It will Add an article
the people
also
encourage the multitude of residents to visit Linking Words
museums
Use synonyms
which
around their habitats. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Moreover
, Linking Words
the
tourists from abroad manage to visit Correct article usage
apply
museums
if they are free for Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
In addition
, it can stimulate the cultural interactions between different nations.
If we look at another side of Linking Words
this
notion, there are more advantages if visiting Linking Words
museums
Use synonyms
charge
the amount of money to the Use synonyms
people
. There might be Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
a
number
of reasons Use synonyms
such
as valuable Linking Words
exhibits
or Use synonyms
good
security system for Correct article usage
a good
exhibits
. If the Use synonyms
exhibits
in Use synonyms
museums
are rare, Use synonyms
valuable
and they are worth Correct word choice
and valuable
for
payment, it will be good to require Change preposition
apply
the
small amount of fee. Correct article usage
a
In addition
, Linking Words
these
amount of money is income for Correct determiner usage
this
museums
and their assistants. They will Use synonyms
also
spend these Linking Words
fees
Use synonyms
for
developing their places and bringing other new Change preposition
on
exhibits
for enjoyment.
In conclusion, many Use synonyms
museums
Use synonyms
charge
admission Use synonyms
fees
to the residents. I truly support Use synonyms
this
notion, and there more benefits if Linking Words
museums
Use synonyms
charge
reasonable entrance Use synonyms
fees
.Use synonyms
Submitted by muxtasar1004 on
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clarity
Ensure clarity in your ideas. For instance, the phrase 'there are the number of benefits to pay for admission' is unclear and could be rephrased as 'there are several benefits to charging admission fees.'
specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Instead of saying 'there might be the number of reasons,' specifically list a few reasons.
cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. For example, the section about free entry should logically connect to the benefits of charging fees, perhaps by highlighting the differences more clearly.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the topic well.
balanced argument
You've made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example