In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #home #people #case #development

Individuals in a few mother countries believe having a personal residence is

vital

Correct quantifier usage

more vital

show examples

than hiring

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one.

This

might be because a self-home gives

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

self esteem

Add a hyphen

self-esteem

show examples

and

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

of own personal space to family. I think it is a positive situation as you don’t have to pay

rent

, don’t have to stress out for debts. People who have their own house are wealthier because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have their space to live. They can decorate and organise the home as they wish too.

For example

, a Christmas party is organised which needs some extra decorations to the

wall

hence

, a family with their accommodation place will not have to worry if

wall

Add an article

the wall

show examples

gets damaged.

In contrast

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people who have

rent

Replace the word

rented

show examples

accommodation will have to think twice before they decorate the

wall

as damage to the

wall

will cause them to pay extra money to the land owner.

Additionally

, the family members don’t have to worry

to pay

Change preposition

about paying

show examples

monthly

Add an article

the monthly

a monthly

show examples

rent

owner

Add an article

the owner

show examples

of the house rather they can save up for future maintenance of their residence.

For example

, a family living in Australia is unable to pay

rent

for consecutive 2 months

due to

which the head of the family is taking medications

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

to reduce stress and is been working overtime to earn more money in order to pay the

rent

Therefore

, in brief people in some countries should have their own home and personal space

instead

paying

Change preposition

of paying

show examples

rent

to the owner of the house and having stress about maintaining the residence.

Submitted by nikitanalawade681 on Tue May 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Start with a strong introductory paragraph, followed by body paragraphs that each contain a single main idea, and finish with a concise conclusion.

coherence cohesion

When discussing examples or points, make sure they are fully developed and directly support your argument. This will help to make your essay more comprehensive and coherent.

task achievement

To enhance your task response, focus on defining your reasons more clearly and ensure they are directly related to the question. This will help strengthen the impact of your arguments.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to illustrate your points further. This makes your arguments more convincing and relatable.

general

Work on your grammar and vocabulary to avoid small inaccuracies that can distract the reader. Clear and error-free writing enhances the overall quality of your essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by explaining why owning a home is important to some people and offering an opinion on whether it is a positive development.

task achievement

You provided real-life examples to support your arguments, which helps to make your points more concrete and understandable.

coherence cohesion

The essay's ideas are easy to follow, and your sentences are generally well-organized, contributing to overall coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?