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Band 3.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
Most
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In most
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 of the states in the world, village people are shifting to town.
As a result
,
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 in
local
Add an article
the local
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 area
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
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. I think it has more negative impacts because it hampers our environment.
Firstly
, a lot of individuals
move
Wrong verb form
have moved
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 into cities in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 recent period. So, population density is increasing day by day.
Additionally
, they produce huge waste materials, which affects
in
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apply
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our surroundings.
Moreover
, in towns, humans suffer their housing shortages and they spend their nights
in
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on
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 the roadsides.
For example
, in
Bangladesh
Add a comma
Bangladesh,
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 30%
people
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of people
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 lead unhealthy lives in the city areas.
As a result
, they
suffers
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suffer
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 some unknown diseases, which stop their household activities.
On the other hand
,
due to
Correct article usage
the raising
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raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
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 in urban sites,
number
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the number
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 of industries and
transports
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transport
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 is increasing. So, it helps to numerous pollutions
such
 as air, water and soil.
Moreover
,
this
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these
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 pollutions disrupt our normal ecosystems and environmental balances will
unstable
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be unstable
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.
For instance
, Dhaka is the most polluted city in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Asia and it is unsuitable for human living. If individuals focus
for
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on
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 staying in the Metropolitan areas, food shortages and expenses will accelerate.
Besides
, children do not get proper facilities for their physical exercises. Open places are
filling
Wrong verb form
filled
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 with buildings and all types of shortages will occur
due to
huge
Correct article usage
the huge
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 population. In conclusion, humans focus
towns
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on towns
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 for their easy lives but they
faces
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face
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 more difficulties than benefits.
Although
 the government takes necessary steps
for solving
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to solve
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 it, we should support the authorities for implementation.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

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grammar
Improve sentence structure and grammar to increase clarity. Review subject-verb agreement and pluralization.
task response
Provide more varied and specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents clear ideas on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and they provide the necessary framing for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The main points are logically structured and organized within the paragraphs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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