Educating young peaple is naturally important, However, some think governments ought to invest more education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although
it is widely advocated that teenagers'
education
is imperative, some still emphasize governmental investment in adult
education
.
However
, the writer is fully persuaded by
this
assertion
due to
the pressure students face from their studies and the promise of brighter career prospects.
To begin
with, it is crucial to acknowledge that educating the younger generation should focus primarily on fundamental knowledge.
That is
because it has long been recognized that the human brain is not completely developed when people are during their earlier ages. Undoubtedly, these young students are unable to fully comprehend the lectures given to them at school, including highly theoretical and academic ones. If authorities heavily invest in youth
education
,
in addition
,
this
will lead to high parental expectations in their offspring’s
overall
performance, thereby resulting in study pressure among students afterwards. More specifically, China is a prime example of
this
, where governments have prioritized enhancing the
education
of their citizens, especially teenagers,
thus
leading to
this
young generation suffering from numerous illnesses
such
as stress and anxiety.
However
, some sceptics contend that global authorities are compelled to make a substantial investment in teenagers’
education
for the purpose of ensuring they acquire better job prospects in the future. To explain
further
, they believe that in
this
day and age, international corporations require relevant insights and formal educational certifications from employees.
For
this
reason, provided that governments do not guarantee the
education
quality for local children, there will be limited opportunities for them, particularly those destined for white-collar occupations, to secure respectable employment in the future. To some extent,
this
might be credible
however
, job-related
skills
are, not academic
education
achievements that are the core requirements of successful organizations.
Therefore
, authorities ought to improve the
education
of adults, specifically by offering vocational training courses to enable these individuals to gain as many required
skills
such
as problem-solving and interpersonal
skills
as possible, thereby obtaining success. Taking all factors into consideration, even though some overemphasize prior academic achievements, it is apparent that children’s inability to gain theoretical knowledge
along with
job-related
skills
must be taken into consideration.
Hence
, the more high-quality curriculums adults have, the more successful they are likely to become in the future.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, aim to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the opposing argument more thoroughly and offering counterpoints.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. For instance, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'Conversely' can help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the key points that will be discussed.
supported main points
You provided relevant specific examples, such as the situation in China, to support your main points.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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