Educating young peaple is naturally important, However, some think governments ought to invest more education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Although
Linking Words
it is widely advocated that teenagers'
education
Use synonyms
is imperative, some still emphasize governmental investment in adult
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the writer is fully persuaded by
this
Linking Words
assertion
due to
Linking Words
the pressure students face from their studies and the promise of brighter career prospects.
To begin
Linking Words
with, it is crucial to acknowledge that educating the younger generation should focus primarily on fundamental knowledge.
That is
Linking Words
because it has long been recognized that the human brain is not completely developed when people are during their earlier ages. Undoubtedly, these young students are unable to fully comprehend the lectures given to them at school, including highly theoretical and academic ones. If authorities heavily invest in youth
education
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will lead to high parental expectations in their offspring’s
overall
Linking Words
performance, thereby resulting in study pressure among students afterwards. More specifically, China is a prime example of
this
Linking Words
, where governments have prioritized enhancing the
education
Use synonyms
of their citizens, especially teenagers,
thus
Linking Words
leading to
this
Linking Words
young generation suffering from numerous illnesses
such
Linking Words
as stress and anxiety.
However
Linking Words
, some sceptics contend that global authorities are compelled to make a substantial investment in teenagers’
education
Use synonyms
for the purpose of ensuring they acquire better job prospects in the future. To explain
further
Linking Words
, they believe that in
this
Linking Words
day and age, international corporations require relevant insights and formal educational certifications from employees.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, provided that governments do not guarantee the
education
Use synonyms
quality for local children, there will be limited opportunities for them, particularly those destined for white-collar occupations, to secure respectable employment in the future. To some extent,
this
Linking Words
might be credible
however
Linking Words
, job-related
skills
Use synonyms
are, not academic
education
Use synonyms
achievements that are the core requirements of successful organizations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, authorities ought to improve the
education
Use synonyms
of adults, specifically by offering vocational training courses to enable these individuals to gain as many required
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as problem-solving and interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
as possible, thereby obtaining success. Taking all factors into consideration, even though some overemphasize prior academic achievements, it is apparent that children’s inability to gain theoretical knowledge
along with
Linking Words
job-related
skills
Use synonyms
must be taken into consideration.
Hence
Linking Words
, the more high-quality curriculums adults have, the more successful they are likely to become in the future.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, aim to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the opposing argument more thoroughly and offering counterpoints.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. For instance, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'Conversely' can help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the key points that will be discussed.
supported main points
You provided relevant specific examples, such as the situation in China, to support your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: