As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Nowadays, paper
news
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has been disappearing in the world. Some
people
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would suggest that newspapers will be completely replaced
to
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by
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online
news
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,
while
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others argue that
newpapers
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newspapers
still have demand in some
people
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. I partly agree with the latter view, because conventional press
way
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may
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have
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has
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a crucial role in
worldwides
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worldwide
. On the one hand, there are some grounds
the
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for the
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view that
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newspaper
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newspapers
show examples
will replaced with
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
news
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. As
a
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apply
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society is rapidly transitioning to the digital era,
news
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methods are changing to
the
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apply
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digital ways as well. In fact,
people
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prefer to check the new
techonlogy
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technology
news
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than the traditional
news
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such
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as paper,and radio.
For instance
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, journalists report on the internet
speedly
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speedily
, the
pubilc
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public
can check the items through their smartphones or laptops
immeditely
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immediately
, regardless of the
locations
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location
show examples
, and they do not have to pay to read the
news
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. In short, online
news
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will show the
dramtical
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dramatic
dramatical
growths
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growth
show examples
,
due to
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convenience and
immditancy
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immediacy
.
On the other hand
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, I believe that newspapers might not disappear even the future.
To begin
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with,there are still many fans of paper type of
news
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. In general, the main readers are the senior citizens who are unfamiliar with the new technologies. If the
newspaper
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completly
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completely
disappear
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disappears
show examples
in
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from
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the world, it
must
Verb problem
will
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bring several side-effects like the isolation of information.
According to
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recent
researh
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research
, over 60% percentage of
elderly
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the elderly
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are struggling with
the
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apply
show examples
internet
news
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, and their options decreased because most
newspaper
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companies
had been
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have
show examples
stopped making
the
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apply
show examples
newspapers.
In addition
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, online
news
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tend
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tends
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to provide less
truthworthiness
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trustworthiness
truth worthiness
.
News
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should play a significant role
to transmit
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in transmitting
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the
deepth
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depth
items to the public.
Therefore
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, even if
newpapers's
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newspapers
newspapers's
demand go down,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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will not disappear or
Add a missing verb
be completly
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completly
Correct your spelling
completely
replaced. In conclusion, it is not a clear-cut issue as there are pros and cons of both perspectives.
However
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, I suggest,
even
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that even
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though
,
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apply
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online
news
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have
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has
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
significiant
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significant
benefits,
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newspaper
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newspapers
show examples
have the needs
for
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of
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many
people
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.
Submitted by kimjy3329 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a good overall structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to use linking words and phrases even more effectively. For instance, words like 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'therefore' can help to clearly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement. However, some points could be more clearly explained and supported with specific examples. Providing more detailed and varied examples will strengthen your arguments and improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Some minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes are present. For example, 'techonlogy' should be 'technology,' and 'immditancy' should be 'immediacy.' Make sure to proofread your essay to eliminate such errors, as they can distract the reader.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an ability to consider multiple perspectives—a key component of a high-scoring essay.
task achievement
You provide a rationale for your position and cover various aspects of why newspapers might not disappear completely, which demonstrates good task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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