Some people think that it’s important to spend money on family celebrations(e.g. weddings, birthdays. But some think expensive celebrations are a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over whether spending

money

Use synonyms

celebrations

Use synonyms

like weddings or birthday parties is worth it. Some believe these

events

Use synonyms

are essential and worth the expense,

while

Linking Words

others consider them an unnecessary waste. From my point of view,

such

Linking Words

spending tends to have more negative consequences than positive, as it often leads to financial strain. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, some

people

Use synonyms

think that family

celebrations

Use synonyms

are a meaningful stage in their life that worth all spending. Weddings

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and birthdays deserve financial investments as they can create long-lasting memories.

Besides

Linking Words

those

Use synonyms

events

Add a comma

events,

show examples

one

Use synonyms

of the reasons to come together is,

straighta

Correct your spelling

straight

Correct article usage

a straight

show examples

relationship and just celebrate

one

Use synonyms

of the most important days with loved ones.

For example

Linking Words

, the wedding is an event which can be once in a lifetime, whether to celebrate it on they own most of the

people

Use synonyms

choose to share

this

Linking Words

celebration with close

people

Use synonyms

.From

this

Linking Words

perspective, the joy and emotional significance of these

events

Use synonyms

make the spending worthwhile.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that spending too much

money

Use synonyms

celebrations

Use synonyms

is not necessary and can even be harmful. These

events

Use synonyms

only

last

Linking Words

a short time, but the cost can affect

people

Use synonyms

for a long time.

Instead

Linking Words

of using thousands of dollars for

one

Use synonyms

day, families could use that

money

Use synonyms

for better purposes, like education, buying a house, or saving for the future.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

overspend

due to

Linking Words

social pressure or a desire to impress others, not because they genuinely want to.

This

Linking Words

can lead to stress, regret, and even debt. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

believe that spending a lot of

money

Use synonyms

on family

celebrations

Use synonyms

is worthwhile, I strongly disagree.

Celebrations

Use synonyms

can still be joyful and meaningful without being expensive.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that large expenditures on

such

Linking Words

events

Use synonyms

are not necessary and are often a waste of

money

Use synonyms

makemoneyizzy16Thu Apr 24 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and summarizing it explicitly in the conclusion. This enhances clarity and ensures a strong stance throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your arguments flow logically by using appropriate linking words or phrases. For instance, phrases such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' can help connect ideas more smoothly.

task achievement

Include a few more specific examples or anecdotes to support your points, as this can strengthen your arguments and provide more depth.

task achievement

You provide a balanced view of both perspectives, which is commendable. This demonstrates an understanding of the topic and allows for a nuanced discussion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before.Some people say anageing population creates problemsfor governments.Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
With the advancements in medical science, the life span of human beings has increased in many developed nations.Although the long and healthy life of people is considered a symbol of a successful society, some folks consider the elderly population a burden on the country.They may be right to some extent but the death of citizens at a younger age is not at all a positive indicator for any nation-state.
6
band
In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?
People who are over 50 years old with various job experiences are having difficulty securing a good job in some countries. There are various reasons as to why this is and several impacts this could have on this age group of workers. This essay will list the causes and effects of this.
6.5
band
People use the internet for medical advice and to do medical check ups rather than directly meeting with doctors in an office Why are they using the internet for this? Discuss you viewpoints on this.
It is common that use the internet to do medical checkups and to medical advice rather than meeting face-to-face with doctors in an office.
6
band
Some parents encourage their children to be competitive, for example in sports and classes at school. Other parents think that encouraging competition can be harmful to their children.
People have different views on the concept of competition. While some claim that competition is a crucial aspect of children’s education, I firmly argue that tough competition in childhood could lead children to lose their self-confidence and give in to their possible dreams.
6.5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Compared to earlier periods, many current foods and drinks products contain overabundant sugar, causing some health problems. In this essay, I agree that the price of sugary goods should be higher, thereby helping customers consume less sugar.

Some people think that it’s important to spend money on family celebrations(e.g. weddings, birthdays. But some think expensive celebrations are a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before.Some people say anageing population creates problemsfor governments.Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?

People use the internet for medical advice and to do medical check ups rather than directly meeting with doctors in an office Why are they using the internet for this? Discuss you viewpoints on this.

Some parents encourage their children to be competitive, for example in sports and classes at school. Other parents think that encouraging competition can be harmful to their children.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?