In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Many students around the world have the opinion that working or
traveling
a Change the spelling
travelling
year
before starting academic study
is a good option. This
essay will discuss the experience gained and saving
money are the biggest advantages, Rephrase
how saving
however
, reducing motivation to study
and delaying careers are the main disadvantages.
The main positive side of a gap year
is a good opportunity to learn about the world and to try to earn money for the future. Hence
, young people
will be more independent and responsible. However
, in many countries studying at university is expensive and people
who just finished secondary school actually don`t have financial independence. For instance
, In the USA academic programs cost approximat
ely $Correct your spelling
approximate
10 000
$ per semester and many students drop off because they cannot afford to stay.
The negative effect of a break Correct your spelling
10,000
year
is that many students lose their motivation to study
and re-adapt to academic life after being a freelancer is difficult. As a result
, a lot of people
nowadays do not have an academic diploma and they do not have enough qualifications to increase their careers as professionals. For instance
, in the USA the majority of people
don`t have the qualification
to apply for a job, Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
as a result
, they work as general workers and have limited opportunities to live.
In conclusion, in some countries, young people
think the gap year
between school and university is a good chance to work and travel. If learning about the world and financial independence are beneficial, losing time when they have enough energy to study
at university is
a negative effect.Verb problem
has
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, but it would benefit from more detailed examples and analysis. Make sure to elaborate on your points to ensure clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that your paragraphs flow more smoothly from one to the next. Using transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument in a more coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, but make sure your main points are well-supported with clear examples and evidence. This will help make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which nicely frames your essay.
task achievement
Your essay touches upon relevant points and maintains a balanced perspective by discussing both positives and negatives.
task achievement
You acknowledged real-world examples, which can make your argument more relatable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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